BtVS Living Teaching Learning to Live Again
by AnonymousBuffy Writer
Summary: Buffy husband died in a horrible accident leaving her and her daughter Angels human now and she hasn’t contacted him but when she sees his picture from prom after talking to will she goes to see him she and Angel have to make a choice before it's to late


DISCLAMER: I own none of the main characters only those that aren't mine

RATING: pg-14

AUTHOR: Tajma Cameron

TIMELINE: 2002-2009/2010

PAIRINGS: Buffy/ Riley but Buffy/Angel later

SPOILER: No Comment

SYNOPSIS: Finishing what some one started Buffy husband died in a horrible accident leaving her and her daughter Angels human now and she hasn't contacted him but when she sees his picture from prom she decides it's time after talking to will she goes to see him when he gets home she's sitting on his front step they see each other for the first time in nearly ten years her hair is dark brown and really curly

AUTHOR NOTES: Cordelia and Doyle are married and expecting twins

Angel has a heart condition and he refused to tell Buffy in the mean time it's getting worse will he tell her before it's too late

Can Buffy convince him life is still worth living if they do it together?

AUTHOR NOTES 2: Buffy bot come back stronger Faster and wanting revenge, magic fun

Music: Mary J Blige's Good Woman Down, Alone Brandy It''s No Worth it

E-MAIL: of course

_**May 13, 2002**_

Buffy and Riley got married when she turned 21, they stuck together he had been there for her when her mother passed and now they were tracking Willow she was on the lose after Tara had been killed they followed her, Buffy was silent in the car he said "look Buffy everything will be okay" she just looked at him and back out the window she hoped that it would be she got there and saw what willow had done she said "Willow what did you do" she said "one down, Two to go" she disappeared into the darkness everyone took off to try to catch up the Willow, she staled from the woods looking into the darkness she turned to where her masters mangled corps had been she glared angrily they would pay she would find a way to make them pay for what they had done to her master she turned and ran into the night.

She went back to the layer she looked over the wreckage that had once been her masters home she turned and walked away she now had no pace she had to belong and that angered her she wasn't suppose to feel such emotions but she did she left and as she got ready to leave and she found herself being attacked by three demons she took them down easily snapping there necks and using ones clawed hand to stab the other in the heart. A dark figure came out from the dark ness he said "impressive" she said "who are you" he said "promise of a better future" he nodded to her aired her mechanics where showing he said "I can help you make you stronger faster more life like, there have been few that have accomplished this but I know how and I can make you… perfection" he reached out his hand she looked at I smirking and took it she went with him.

June 14, 2009 

_**7 years and **_

**_3 months later_**

Buffy sighed as she sat in the living room of the house she had lived in sense she was 22 she was 29 now, she sighed staring at the wedding photo on the mantle, she picked it up and looking at it her heart hurt, she ran her finger over his face she missed him she did but she felt that she didn't miss him enough yeah it hurt but she sighed yet again taking the photo putting it in a box closing it up she went ups stairs and into the room across from the stairs next to hers she opened the door she said "hey there shouldn't you be putting those in the box we got to get this house packed up for the movers the dirty blond haired girl looked at her and smiled "okay mom" Buffy smiled Emma she was all that was left of him he had died on a mission trying to capture some demons in a camp he had promised her he would quit he had swore but it was in him just like slaying was in her, she walked away from it when Emma came she found out not to long after the final battle she was expecting, Emma was 6 now and reminded her of Riley so much she loved her daughter but when she thought of riley and how she felt about him she loved him, she just did feel like it was enough and thought about if she hadn't caught him that day where would she would be she knew she wouldn't have Emma, and that was hard to think about Riley had passed three months ago it still hurt. She went into her room and packed the last of it, they were moving, Iowa that was his home but it had never been hers and she had only moved there to protect Emma but now she was going home not Sunnydale her home, LA.

The next morning

They took a flight out of Iowa forever and headed toward there New lives in LA, they got there, she called up Willow show and Kennedy her new love were living there, Kennedy had really helped Willow cope with what she had done all those years ago, she got to Willow's she opened the door and said "hey Buffy" Emma jumped into Willows arms said "Emma look at you haven't you grown so big" Emma giggled they went in got settled Kennedy made them Tea Willow said "hey so how are you doing:" Buffy said "I'm okay I guess, I hurt at night I cry, I can bust into tears for no reasons, but I'm okay" Willow said "oh Buffy" Buffy said "I knew when he went out that door I had a feeling something was going to happen to him" Willow said "the autopsy said that it wasn't the accident" she said "it was his heart, I know… I know, the Initiative they had pumped him so full of those drugs…" she looked down at her hands "they killed him, and they knew…. They knew it was possible" Willow said "I'm sorry Buffy, go rest change you've had a long trip" Buffy said "yeah… the movers will be here in the morning they should call I have to meet them at the house early" Willow said "okay" she nodded going up stairs she went into her room Emma was already sleep she tucked her in and curled up next to her and went to sleep.

The next morning she met the movers at the house they put up the boxes she was arranging the poxes as they brought them in se found her wedding photo she picked it up and sighed yet again she thought a moment to a happier time then she turned it over and opened the frame the back slipped opened and the other photo fell out she picked it up this brought tears to her eyes, she missed him so much so much it had been years but she still… she couldn't say it" she slid out the photo pf Riley and her closing the frame and sitting that photo on the mantle they were a beautiful couple, some time's had wondered what had happen to him she shook her head. And head outside.

Emma was with her they each grabbed a box,

Down the street a guy turned the corner jogging with his dog he stopped see the woman with his daughter he got a familiar tingle he kept going though. He was on his way back when his dog stopped out side of the house just as the woman was getting something out of her car the little girl saw the dog and went to it she said "Ooo doggy" the man stopped he said "hi" she said "hi Mr." he said "hi what's your name" he said "you and your mother just move here" she said "yeah yesterday" he said "you know… most kids aren't suppose to talk to stranger, doubt your mom would like it to much" she looked at him patting the dog "you don't seemed strange" Buffy said "Emma, what have I told you about talking to strangers" that voice he knew it all to well but it couldn't be her… could it she shut the car door arms full of bags she turned to face him and nearly dropped the bags she caught them it was him after all these years it was him and he was standing in front of her in the sunlight she said "An-Angel" he said "Buffy" Emma said "he's not strange" she looked at him as she had once called it basking she said "what are you doing here" he said "what are you doing here… last I heard you and your husband moved back to good old farm country" he looked her over for the first time noticing her ring was gone at least from that hand he said "what made you move here" she said "if you really want to know… he's dead" his face dropped he had always been bitter that Riley had married her and now he felt bad that he was dead he said "Buffy" she said "no, Emma come on Now" Emma got up sadly leaving his dog and they went into the house he stood there a minute then headed home. She had went inside put the bags down turned to the window going to it and watched him turned out he went into the second house on the next block that turned into that one it was on the side that faced hers. She sighed flopping on the couch trying to calm down and started to cry.

Angel got in and let the dog off the leash and the dog went to sit in his chair he hit the answering machine that had two new messages "two new message… today, 10:12am "hey Angel it's Cordy, just wanted to know if you were coming to dinner tonight… call us back we'll be expecting you"" he smiled sitting down he rubbed his chest getting up going into the kitchen getting his pills and a glass of water he took to out and walked to the answering machine putting them in his mouth "second message… today 10:30am "hello Mr. O'Connor this is Dr. Martins office…" he swallowed the pills drinking the water "we just wanted to confirm your appointment for tomorrow at 2 we'll see you then"" he cut off the machine and headed for a shower.

He went to the doctor the next day after the appointment the doctor wanted to meet him in the office Angel said "you have poked and prodded at me for a long time I just want to know what is really wrong with me" the doctor said "you have what we would call simply… a heart condition" Angel looked at him now concerned "meaning" he said "your heart isn't operating right, it weak and beats irregularly… you have a murmur" Angel said "meaning" he said "that it beats slower then normal and anything to strenuous makes it skip" Angel said "jogging" he said "jogging can cause problems in your case… yes" Angel said "is it fatal" he said "if it goes untreated it could kill you within a year" Angel thought about I and on the inside laughed he had only been human a few years and now this by the powers had fun with him he nodded he said "were going to raise the dose on your medication but I would suggest to you to get surgery as soon as possible the sooner the better." Angel got up and left.

Buffy went to willow s that morning Willow said "what's up" Buffy said "guess who I ran into yesterday" she said "who your dad" Buffy flopped down I wish…" she looked at her "Angel" Willow said "oh" Buffy said "what… he's human" Willow didn't look at her Buffy glared at her "you knew" Willow said "Buffy" Buffy said "how long" Willow said "3 months after you had Emma" Buffy said "5 years and 9 month's" Willow said "you were married we told him to stay way and after he found out about Emma he did want to mess up your life… and he didn't" Buffy said "he shouldn't I at least had the right to know" Willow looked down Buffy shook her head Buffy need to think she need air she walked outside and paced she ran off.

Angel way at Cordelia's she was pregnant in her last two months she was having twins Doyle was a happy Father to be, she said "okay what happen at the doctor" Angel said "nothing" she said "Angel your lying" he said "how can you tell" Doyle said "tell her or she'll make you" Faith and Robin came out of the kitchen Faith said with her blond streaked hair "what going on with Angel" Cordelia said he won't tell us" Angel said "I have a heart condition" Faith and Cordelia "What" Angel nodded "small heart murmur… don't get it corrected I could die within a year" Cordelia said "well your going to get corrected… right" Faith said "Angel come on now" he said "maybe in time" Doyle said "you don't have much" Angel said "yeah" Cordelia grabbed him by his collar he never understood pregnant woman's strength but it might have to do with the fact that she was part demon and so where they she said "so play with me your going" he raised his hands "okay, I just need time to think" she said "you will won't you" he said "don't worry Cordy" she said "because I can't lose you your like a brother to me" she went into sobbing it was mood swings they knew it she went to hug Doyle he held her as best he could around her belly Faith watched him he stayed a while longer and left.

The next day Faith was over Willow's she said "oh my god Angel told us some news last night" she said "what" Faith said "he has a heart mummer and could die in a year if the thing isn't fixed" Willow said "Buffy got back in town to stay a few days ago" Faith said "has she seen him" Willow said "yeah they live around the corner from each other" Faith said "so is she like interested I know Riley just passed but" Willow said "I don't know but I think she's debating" faith said "Angel would be good for her" Faith said "not now" Willow said "if they get back together" faith said "what she just might be what he needs to take the step to take that surgery" Willow said "you don't get it, Riley died of a heart condition… if she found out" Faith said "I thought it was a demons Mission" she shook her head "it was his heart it gave out" Faith said "that could kill her if it don't kill him first" she said "now what" Willow said "see where they decide to go with it… we can't do anything until we see"

Buffy called Giles he was Living back in England with Olivia she said "hey" he said "Buffy it's good to hear from you" she said "yeah" he said "how are you after" she said "thanks Giles Fine" he said "But" she said "I ran into Angel yesterday here in LA" he said "oh" she said "did you know he was" he said "um yes Wesley called me when it happened" she laughed hurt "everyone knew but Buffy" Giles said "we thought it was best…" she said "yeah you always think everything is best and never ask me" h said "is something bothering you" she sighed trying to calm down she said "I hurt for riley I grieve for Riley but it's not the same as if it were him I know I would never stop… I couldn't stop it and that what hurts so much, but I don't hurt like…" he said "as if it where Angel" she said "yes" he said "you love him" it hurt but it was true she said "I don't know anymore… Angel was, he was never one to be trusted when it came to committing to me, but I do I still love him" he said "all you can do is see, try again and see… things are different, least you can do is give it a chance, and set the rules… see where it goes" she nodded "okay thank you Giles" she hung up.

That night somewhere in LA, in a lab, hidden under ground they worked, in a room it laid then it's eyes opened it was in a white room it sat up coving it self with a sheet, it saw programs in front of it eyes she knew them well she stretched she moved normally shy yawned that as new to her she got up and the door slid open she wrapped herself she felt embarrassed was the word coming to her view she said "what is this" he said "you are the robot equivalent to a human" she said "but I was already" he said "a robot yes but now you are stronger faster, you can feel touch smell taste eat drink shower get angry and special you can shape shift" she said "oh" he handed her clothing get dressed" she came out not to long later in a pare of black leather pants and a black turtle neck sweater she said "I feel warm" he said "like a human" she said "but my hands are" he said "cold" he nodded "that why you where the warm clothing, not hot not to cold but" she said "comfortable" he nodded "how long had it been" he said "5 and half years to prefect you, no harm can be done to you none is strong enough to take you down or fast enough to catch you are immune to harm… you may be even strongest then" she said "my persona" he nodded and as a added aspect just in case you are ever harmed a data program is in your head that will tall you how to fix it" she nodded and walked over to the mirror looking at herself and her dark brown with light brown streaked hair said "I would be Buffy"

The next morning

She got up and went downstairs she made Emma breakfast she saw Angel leave the house with his dog and she wanted to talk to him alone without Emma she thought about it maybe she could, she walked past the mantle ands looked at the picture again they looked so happy then so,,, normal, and now… they were the question was could they really handle it could they make it work, could they." She said "Emma" she came skipping to her "yes mommy" Buffy smiled "were going to see the nice neighbor" she said "Ooo with the doggy" Buffy laughed "yes with the doggy" come on let get ready, they went and changed.

When Angel got home Buffy sat on his front step, he approached her slowly, he was tired very tired but when he saw her he perked up a bit Emma was sitting next to her she said "Doggy" going to the dog, the dog licked her face, Buffy got up curly dark hair in her face she put I behind her ear she said "well looks like we have a problem my daughter loves your dog" she smiled he could see she was teasing he said "about" she said "don't… it's okay, it's still hard but… I'm dealing with hit" he said "um would you like to come in for coffee or tea" she said "yeah because I don't think I could drag Emma away from your dog" he giggled "come on you guy" he clapped when he opened the door and the dog was up running into the house Buffy waved Emma to follow them and she went in they shut the door, across the street a mechanical eye snapped pictures and you saw the buffybot standing in the shadows watching drinking coffee revenge would be sweet.

They went inside he headed into the kitchen they sat in the living room he said "coffee or tea" Buffy said "coffee would be fine and ice tea for the little one here" Emma said "I can say it" Buffy said "fine" she said " ice tea with lemon" Angel laughed "okay" he went and started the kettle pulling out the coffee and the tea two mugs and a glass he put the ice in the glass and when the kettle steeped he pored the water in the mugs one was a tea bag and one had coffee grounds in it he took the spoons and tired the up he then took the tea made it pretty stone in the cup pored it over the ice leaving a 4th in the cup filling it up with water he put the lean in the glass of tea and put them on a tray he went in the cabinet he said "Buffy come here a second" she came into the kitchen she said "yeah" he said "not to indulge the whims of a child you mind if I give her these cookies" she said "it's fine" he got them out putting them on a plate and then added it to the tray and putting the sugar in the tea with more ice for Emma and then followed Buffy out the kitchen he sat the tray down the dog saw the cookies and laid next to Emma giving her this sad look like he wanted some too Buffy said "aren't those chocolate chip, dogs can't eat chocolate" Angel said "he can eat the cookies just that you have to make sure you broke peaces without chocolate in them" Buffy said "oh okay" she took threw of the cookies and broke them up for Emma to give to the dog she giggled as he took it and Buffy smiled looking at Angel "she likes him... she hasn't laughed as much sense" he said "I can guess… how are you doing" she said "living with it" she looked at her hands she said "how old are you" he said "32" she said "oh" he said "is there something you wanted to talk to me about" she said "um it's been a while you know some stuff about me what about you" he talked to her they drank coffee and tea and then her excused himself going up stairs to take his medication and wait for his heart to calm down then he went down stairs they were ready to leave he said "your leaving" she said "yeah need to put her down for a nap and I have some things I need to do" he said "yeah tired as well" she looked at him "you feeling okay" he said "yeah I'm fine… jog whipped me out I was up late last night watching TV" she said "yeah you should watch that it can become addictive" he smiled he let them out he shut the door once they got into there house and leaned against it locking it and taking his remaining energy to collapse on the couch were he went to sleep.

Two weeks pasted

Buffy had Angel over about three times she hadn't seen or heard from him in four days and he wasn't even taking his runs in the morning she was felt something wasn't right Emma was in school she decided to go over there she walked over to the house there were four news papers on his front step meaning he hadn't been out in for days or he was out of town but his car was still there she went to the door and knocked she figured he was up stairs and she range the bell and wasn't getting anything she heard the dog she called him a few times then she looked through the front window which she couldn't see anything she looked for a spare key under the mate over the door nothing she looked at the ledge of the roof she reach up and found it between the edge and the shingles she took it down and she unlocked booth locks she called him "Angel you here" she turned into the living room she was looking toward the kitchen she heard him, moan she turned to the couch and saw him wrapped in a blanket on the couch he didn't look well she went to him and put her hair behind her ears she said "Angel can you hear me" she touch his for head he was hot but clammy he looked really bad she said tapping his face "Angel… Angel comes on Angel" he opened his eyes but he was too weak to keep them open she said "Angel… you have to listen to me" he said "Bu...ffy" she said "well you know who I am… you have to stay awake" he said "Buffy I'm tired" she said "sorry don't really care there something wrong with you, you have to stay with me" she looked around and for the phone it was on the table near the door she went to get it she called 911

she was having flash bakes to her mothers death she couldn't think of it not... not him. She got them she described what was wrong with him form what she could tell telling her what she already new and if he stopped responding to do CPR she didn't think she could do it again she knew that she had to keep him awake she was afraid if she had to she break his ribs like she had her mother she concentrated on keeping him awake forcing him to talk to her they came pretty quick they made her move back they were asking her questions like if he was on any medications or ha any problems she said "I don't know I've only been in town for two weeks… he's my ex we just started talking again I came over because I was concerned" he said "good thing you did you might have just saved his life" she could only hope she was starting to panic she need air she need air she found her cell in her pocket she called willow "hello" Buffy said "Willow" Buffy was crying now she said "what what's wrong.. is Emma Okay" Buffy said "yes, Angels not" Willow said "oh god what happened" Buffy said "I found him" Willow said "oh god don't tell me he's dead" Buffy paced out side "no, he's not dead but he looks so sick… they said I might have saved his life" Willow said "that good... that really good" Buffy said "oh god… I can't think oh god I don't know what to do" Willow said "the paramedic have him" Buffy turned and looked as the brought the stretcher out of the house "yeah" Willow said "go with him to the hospital I'll call everyone" Buffy said "thank you Willow" she hung up the paramedic said "you coming" Buffy said "yeah… I'm coming" she got in with them

she road with them and was told to sit in the waiting room she couldn't find out anything because she wasn't family she sat in shock until she heard the others come in they all went to her Faith sat on one side and Willow on the other Willow said "are you okay" Buffy looked at her she knew Faith said "I'm sorry B" Buffy put her hands up warning them not to touch her Cordelia and Doyle came up next Cordelia said "I heard you were back in town" she rubbed her stomach Buffy took offence to it she aid "don't start bull shit with me now" Willow said "she's right Cordelia if your going to start something you might as well leave" Cordelia said "I'm his best friend… he like a brother to me, I'm not starting anything she is… I just made a statement" Buffy said "something's wrong with him… I know that" she looked at them they got the wandering eyes and looking away from her they looked guilty of hiding something she said "it was something wrong with him and you all knew" Faith said "Buffy" Buffy said "no don't Buffy me" she hoped up and said "he's sick what wrong with him… what wrong with him" Cordelia said "he has a heart condition a heart murmur" she looked at them Faith said "we didn't what to tell you" Willow said "we knew about Riley" Doyle said "we didn't think you could take it" Buffy said "is it Fatal" Faith said "Buffy" Buffy said "I'm going to say again… is it Fatal" Cordelia said "if not treated in 11 and a half mouths" Buffy nodded "he'll be dead" Cordelia said "may be sooner with what happened today" Buffy nodded "I have to go… could one of you call me and tell me when he wakes up, if that not a secret to… and let me in to see him if that not to much to ask" Willow said "Buffy" Buffy shook her head and threw up her hands and she walked out.

She walked to her daughters school and sat in the park next to it she watched her for a while then she went and got her they went home Buffy was not in good shape she ordered them Chinese and she didn't eat hers she got the dog from Angel house not wanting to leave him therein the house alone Emma was happy she was the only one being able to play with the dog Buffy put Emma to bed and sat on the couch and starred into space the dog came and put his head in her lap, the dog was sad to. She patted the seat next to her he jumped up on her couch and placed his head in her lap again she fell asleep.

The next morning Cordelia came to get the dog she put the lease on it and Buffy said "no thank you for even getting the dog… he would have been in that house all night by him self if I hadn't gone over there and got him" Cordelia said "thank you, Buffy for taking care of his dog for the night I have him now" Buffy said "any news" Cordelia said "there no change they had to crack his chest open to restart his heart, it stopped they pulled him back they have him on IV, and are pumping full of heart failure meds, they think he's be up in a few days… he's out and they don't want to wake him because he'll heal faster that way" Buffy said "good" Cordelia said "can I go" Buffy waved her on

Three days past Willow called her told her he was awake head woken up the day before but he was slipping back and forth he was more alert today she got dressed and went Emma was staying with Kennedy she went in she calmed her nerves he didn't want to kill a nearly dying man she went to his room she poked her head in and he was staring out the window she knocked and he turned to look in her direction she walked in she said emotionlessly "hi… how are you" he said "I'm good… sore they have my ribs clammed in hopes… well" she said "do you remember how you got here" he said "honestly no" Buffy said "did they tell you" he said "no" Buffy said "well let me, I went over your house… got not response knocked called rang the bell nothing got worried then I found your spare key went in, I found you on the couch… nearly unconscious I yell at you I slapped you to get you to wake up she did some I had to talk to the paramedics… they told me I would have had to do CPR if you stopped breathing I kept you conscious till they got there, watched the work on you… they asked me if your were on any medications or had a history of being sick… I couldn't answer it, I didn't know… all I could do is stand by and watch… just like I did with my" he said "your mother" she said "you knew that… and you knew you had a heart condition" he said "Buffy" she said "please don't Angel… I see how much I really must matter to you, and I accept that… so I'm going to go now, don't want to stay to long might find out some personal information you don't want me to know… so I'll just go" he said "Buffy I was wrong and I'm sorry for that… I should have told you but I didn't... I was afraid because I know what you had been through" she said "that all the more reason you should have told me Angel… what you were just going to let yourself die… the same way he did… the only thing that kept me sane was the fact that I knew it wasn't you… you were safe, and now it looks like your in the same place he was… so if you want to die, go right ahead Angel… don't expect me to watch… and don't expect me to mourn for you, you die… I'll be dead" he said "Buffy" she walked out he called her she didn't respond she left him there.

_Don't say you want out of this _

_Don't day it's time for us to quit _

Buffy went home and she shut the door she leaned there a minute she took the bag in her hand and took it the kitchen she opened the cabinet got a glass out she took the contence out the bag and sat it on the counter she opened the top poring the Whisky in the glass she looked at it and picked it up she went into the living room she looked at her and Riley's wedding photo that was such a shame

_It doesn't matter what they say or do _

_Don't let it get to you, Don't be afraid _

_You can break through _

_Take what I been through, To see that _

_Can't hold a good woman down _

she took it up and through it into the wall it shattered in slow motion moment and it fell to the ground she went over to it sat on the floor the photos were mocking her, her shattered like her life would doomed to be her and riley's wedding photo laid over her side of her prom photo so it had this look of Angel from the prom photo her and riley in the other wedding shot shattered glass on top of it she laughed she sat back against her wall looking at the mess and she looked at her glass she said "well it was always alcoholism in my family"

_You say you want to give up _

_Felt like I had enough _

_Been to the edge of the ledge but I didn't jump _

_My life will some it up _

_but you can't hold a good woman down _

her mother had been that way during the divorce she said "like mother like daughter" she drank down the whisky and there was no telling what was going to make her stop, for now she really didn't care her husband was dead her lover was dying and she didn't care

Two weeks later

Willow had called her a bunch of times she wasn't answering she had left her a tone of messages and told her about Cordelia having the twins and to talk to her about bringing Emma back she got worried and she went over there she knocked and knocked and knocked nothing then final she answered the door, she looked tired drawn something wasn't right Willow said "I called you" Buffy said sluggishly "I've been sleep" Willow said "every day, for the past two weeks" Buffy didn't respond and then scratched her head " you bring Emma" Willow said "oh so you do remember your daughter" Buffy said "of course… she's my child" Willow said "she's in the car… can I come in" Buffy opened the door she came in Willow looked around she saw the place looked some what tidy there was a liquor glass on the table but that didn't mean she had been drinking just been using the glass Buffy said "you find what you were looking for if not I would like my daughter and for you to go" Willow said "why this change of attitude Buffy" Buffy said "nothing could you just bring me Emma and go… thank you" Willow said "Buffy" Buffy said "I'm sorry am I allowed my daughter or oh is that just one big secret to" Willow said "Buffy we were all afraid to tell you he was afraid to tell you we didn't want to tell you that was between you and him and I guess he figured he had more time to think about it" Buffy was shutting her out Willow got it she went and got Emma out of the car and Emma ran into the house Willow watched Buffy shut the door something wasn't right something wasn't right there at all.

Willow went home Kennedy said "did you talk to Buffy" Willow said "yeah I talked I don't think she listened to much though" Kennedy said "she alright" Willow said "I don't know… her all over look and attitude is bad Kennedy said "have an idea what it is" Willow said "I don't know but I might… I think she's drinking, I hope she's just depressed for her daughter's sake"

6 weeks later

Buffy sat in her living room she was in still in her on going stupor Emma was playing and watching TV Buffy wasn't really pay much attention to her she made her breakfast she sent her to school on the bus and she made her dinner other wide she was sitting on that couch and she was out of it 85 of the time she didn't sleep she passed out she would get up when she came out of it she had we went from a bottle of whisky a day to whisky in the morning in her coffee scotch in the afternoon Gen at night she drank a bottle of echo every day no of days. The only thing that kept her from completely loosening touch is she had to take care of her daughter and she did.

Faith went over to Willows she said "Angel was realized today" Willow said "they let him go" Faith said "they can't keep a man that don't want to be kept" Willow said "how's he doing" Faith said "he's on his feet he's walking… with a cane, there talking about sending him a wheel chair" Willow said "I don't believe it, he's really not going to get that surgery" Faith said "he's stubborn" Willow said "so is Buffy" Faith said "what's up with her" Willow said "I think she's drinking" Faith said "no, not little B" Willow said "yeah and she won't talk to us" Faith said "it funny if Buffy and Angel were together they might be a lot happier" Willow said "pride" Faith said "no pride is like saying they won't see each other because they would feel like they would loose something by admitting it" Willow said "then what is it" Faith said "Angels scared to get that surgery, the only one that could probably convince him is Buffy but she numb from the death of her husband and the potential death of him" Willow said "do in turn there going to curl up and die instead of talking to each other" Faith said "stubborn pride"

Faith told robin, robin slipped and told Cordy, Cordy got made and told Doyle, Doyle debated and finally picked up the phone and called Angel, he got it "yeah" Doyle said "I'm guessing you haven't heard" Angel said "heard what" Doyle said "about Buffy he was silent as he flashed back to that day in the hospital _"the only thing that kept me sane was the fact that I knew it wasn't you… you were safe, and now it looks like your in the same place he was… so if you want to die, go right ahead Angel… don't expect me to watch… and don't expect me to mourn for you, you die… I'll be dead"_ he said "is she alright" Doyle said "rumor going around in the group is that she taken up drinking" Angel said "what… not Buffy" Doyle said "Willow saw her she looked off they think she's been drinking" Angel instantly felt guilt he should have told her Doyle said "it's not your fault" Angel said "it's not, when I know if I had told her I could have prevented it" Doyle said "it's even about you more then likely is about her looking her husband and not that your sick it hitting her like a ton of bricks about her husband… and in combination with you it hitting her twice as hard.. not you yes you being in a similar place pushed all those emotions over her husbands death to the for front… don't blame your self just thought you should know" Angel said "yeah Doyle thanks" he hung up getting up slowly going to it on the couch he turned pulling the curtain back some looking over at her house wondering if he should go over there or not

Two days later

Emma had been in her room and when she heard something down stairs she grabbed her bear and went out into the hall "Mommy" she heard nothing she went to the top of the step "Mommy" still nothing she went down the steps slowly and didn't see her she went towards the kitchen calling her she got to the kitchen and didn't see her she walked around the island she was scared not then she found her on the floor. She saw she was unconscious and she kneeled next to her "mommy, mommy wake up… mommy please wake up" nothing she started to get really scared then she thought of something the neighbor with the dog she knew from the few talks before her mom had known him for a while and he wasn't all that far away. She didn't want to leave her mom but she thought he could help her she went to the door reach up and unlocked it she pulled it open with some effort she looked outside she pulled the door and she was scared she saw the house was across the street but she was afraid there were no cars passing at that time of the night so she ran down her front steps and down to the end of her block she looked both ways and then rand across to the corner of his block she knew his house was the second one she counted one two and ran up the front step she saw some lights on she ran to the door pulling the screen door open and she hit the door wither lit fight and started yelling for help.

He was sitting on the couch and then he thought he heard something he didn't move then he saw the dog run down stairs and to the door and he knew he had heard something he turned the TV off he got up slowly and went to the door he said "I'm coming" he went and opened the door at first he didn't see her then he heard her she wasn't making any real sense but she was crying and he knew something was wrong he stooped down and said "woah, woah, woah… slow down calm down, what wrong" he dried her eyes and she swallow she said "mommy won't wake up" Angel said "oh god" he grabbed his coat and was out the door the doog followed running past him and towards the house Angle took the child hand and went over there as quickly as he could and a bit faster then he was allowed he really didn't care, his heart was pounding anyway from worrying he got to her frond steps went up them and pushed the door open and the dog ran to her he went into the kitchen after the dog and he found the dog licking her face she was out cold the little girl pilled on his pants leg and said "you have to help her" Angel looked for the phone and it was on the wall he grabbed it and sat on the floor next to her he was winded he was going to ignore it he had to make sure she was okay.

He called 911 he did everything they told him and he waited he didn't have to waited long for them showed up when they got there he didn't looked to well he told them to help her not worry about him just help her they got her out and they took him out side checking him out he told them everything they need to know about his condition they wanted to treat him as well he said it was fine as long as he could ride wither and her daughter because no one was there to watch her daughter they agreed they took care of them both.

They had him admitted over night to watch him he insisted to let him call some one for her daughter and they did he called Willow and of course it made it through the friends grape vine and they were all there including Giles his people came to see him in his room he was sitting up and okay Emma was sitting next to him out of respect for her mother he wouldn't let her out of his sight until some got there Cordelia said "Doyle's at home with the kids… you okay" angel said "yeah they just want to keep me over night" she said "what did you do" Angel said "if you know this is Buffy's daughter… she came and got me when her mother got sick" Cordelia said "oh… nice to meet you" Emma just glared at her she wasn't moving from Angels side until she saw some one she knew Cordelia said "you want me to take you to Willow" she still glared Angel said "just go get willow" Cordelia nodded and left together Willow"

Giles came in a bit later to see him Angel said "Giles how I she" he said "she's still out… it was alcohol over dose they had to pump her stomach" Angel shook his head Giles said "did you know" Angel said "I found out a few days ago… I should have went to check on her" Giles not that it could help she was shutting us all out" Angel said "because of me… I should have told her" he said "maybe you should… but I can under stand why you didn't" he said "it wasn't that I wasn't… it just I though" Giles said "you had more time" Angel said "her daughter… she was so scared" Giles said "I know… I saw her" Angel said "that little girl she already lost her father if she looses her mother… I really don't know" Giles said "maybe you need to give her mother a reason to live" Angel said "if she's not good enough reason,, I don't know what is" Giles said "she is a good reason for her mother to go on but she'll never be herself again… there is only one thing that can make her herself again" Angel said "me… how when she made it clear she doesn't want me" Giles said "haven't you ever said something you didn't mean… she's afraid to live again… and I think you are to.. that why you haven't gotten that surgery yet… talk to each other"

The next day he was able to go the doctors were suggesting that he use the wheel chair when he go home he wasn't listening he knew that if he used a wheel chair he would be using more upper body strength then he should that would just aggravate the problem. He went to her room she had come to he slipped in he said "hey" she said "I heard you had gotten out of here the other we your back" he said "now it's my turn… do you remember what happened last night" Buffy said "honestly I don't know what happening from day to day I just do what I have to do and that it" he said "oh your proud you don't remember what you do" Buffy said "don't" Angel said "no… your daughter came to me scared out her mind that you might have been dead, I was the closet person she could get to" she looked away from him "I'm not going to lecture you… because if your friends haven't they will.. and I'll do my best to keep Cordelia away from you" she said "thanks… but I don't need your pity" Angel said "this isn't pity… this is me caring, about you your daughter and what your doing to her and yourself… I put my own health in danger because I wanted to make sure you were okay" she wouldn't say anything or look at him he said "I've said all I wanted to say… I'm going to go, you want to talk you know where I am" he walked out

A week later Buffy was let out of the hospital she was sent home Willow had her daughter she was skeptical on giving her back this time Emma wanted to see her mother and make she was okay, Willow was walking through the city and thinking Cordelia was walking the other way with her double stroller she said "Willow" Willow looked up she said "hey… oh the Twins, they look so cute" Cordelia said "yeah you have to have coffee with me so we can talk" Willow said "okay" they went into a quaint little shop together got there coffee and tea Cordelia wasn't allowed coffee because of feeding the twins she looked at the them periodically they were sleeping well Willow said "what did you want Cordelia you just don't talk to me" Cordelia said "how's Emma" Willow said "she's doing good… she wants to go back to her mother" Cordelia said "do you think that best for her" Willow said "Buffy has been my friend for 13 years… she's been through hell, I feel for her and I don't know if it's best Emma go back to her but if I took her from Buffy she might go over the edge" Cordelia said "she's neglecting that child" Willow said "you tell me if Doyle died to marrow in a car accident and you started drinking or neglecting those kids… not in a all together sense in the sense of you made sure they were fed, changed and clothed but then don't want to deal with them other wise you put on there music and left the room to get a drink" Cordelia looked at them "I wouldn't neglect them" Willow said "Buffy takes care of her she makes sure she's fed clothed get to school on time and that she comes home from the buss stop makes breakfast and dinner for the girl she doesn't neglect her she neglect her she neglect herself" Cordelia said "but she not getting the love she suppose together from her parent, the feeling that her mother really cared about her… with out it she could well… turn out like Faith… think about it keep Emma way from her, not completely just supervised" Willow said "I don't know" Cordelia said "you know social services would just take that child after what happened, they take children for much less… you do that you prevent something more serous happening" Willow didn't know what to do.

She went to Giles said "Willow" she nodded she came in he said "sit" he said once they were settled "I have Emma" Giles said "I know" Willow said "should I keep her" Giles said "honestly I think we should all go over there voice our opinions and see what she thinks if she don't get it then you keep her daughter" Willow said "I don't her to hate me" Giles said "she won't when her head clears… she might even thank you" Willow said "but she is taking care of her daughter.. I don't know" Giles said "she needs something to nap her out of her drunken stupor and wake up to her life again" Willow said "I hope"

Buffy opened the door to her house the same with a coat of dust she really couldn't care she went straight to the liquor cabinet and went right back to what she was doing got something to drink stated drinking and flopped on the couch she drank the glass sown leaned beck and soon fell asleep she knew willow was bring Emma in the morning so she would need the rest, she slept

The next day

She waited for Willow and nothing she waited and nothing she drank and waited to calm her nerves, she waited and then around six there was a knock on the door she went to get it and found Willow Xander and Giles… and no Emma, she said "oh you brought Xander for a visit… nice but um you were suppose to bring my daughter" Willow said "can we come in" Buffy let them in and she went and sat down she said "what do you want" Giles said "were concerned about you" Buffy nodded "is this a intervention again… that worked do well before" Xander said "were concerned" Buffy said "keep up Xander he just said that" Willow said "we think that your not in the best um frame of mind to take care of Emma" Buffy nodded "oh that why you came to tell me I'm an unfit mother… I just lost my husband and now your taking my daughter away" Giles said "we think it would be best… for her frame of mind" Buffy said "you think it would be best… I see, and what is it exactly that you don't like about how I take care of my daughter" Giles said "you drink… your becoming an alcoholic" Buffy said "and that not what I asked you how have I become a problem taking care of my daughter" Willow said "you drink… and that not good" she went to sit next to her "you know how scared she was when you went into the hospital she just lost her father she thought she was going to loose you too" Buffy said "um hum… I can under stand that, but none of you have the right to say I'm neglecting or unfit to her, I get up every morning, I fix her meals… I make sure she gets to the bus I make sure she is on the buss to come home… I make her dinner I sit with her while she plays…" she got up looking around of the room "no of dare say I don't take care of my daughter… it gives me something to do every day a purpose every day you take that away from me… what do I have, a bottle… that all" Willow said "no you have us… you have people that care about you" Buffy said "yeah… I get that" Giles said "do you" she said "Giles… that talking down at me isn't going to work, I'm older now and that a bunch of crap" Giles said "yes you are older, you need to start acting your age" he calmed he said "Willow keep your daughter… you can see her when ever you want to" Buffy said "why are you doing this… really" Giles said "I didn't want to tell you but after the incident there looking into your back ground if they find out that you drink… they will take her were doing this as a preventive measure" Buffy said "fine… you want to take her… go right ahead… her stuff is upstairs in her room… take what you want, and get out my house" Giles got up and so did Willow they went up

Xander sat there he said "so… you going to sit and let it happen" Buffy said "what do you want Xander" he said "you husband died I get that" Buffy said "goody for you" Xander said "you haven't grieve… I get that, let him go he loved you… he wouldn't want this… not for her" Buffy nodded "um hum… he loved me he loved me so much he had to get away from me every chance he got" Xander said "I once told you… if you were going to love him, love him… if you didn't want him make it a clean break" she said "why Xander… your implying I didn't love him one year of our marriage" he said "did you" she said nothing Xander said "you love her… got to the limit to get her back… get sober… get help, move on… for your self and for her" Buffy said "yeah I get that, thank you so much Xander for shedding some light on my life… you really have help… do me a favor" they came down she to them all "all of you do me a favor… could you make sure that the door hits you in the ass on the way out of my house… please" they shook there heads and walked out.

Two months later

Angel was visiting Cordelia and the twins she said "you looking well" Angel said "I do… because I really don't feel that great" Cordelia said "I'm not going to say anything… I'm through with it" he said "thank you so much for sparing me your pep talks" she said "you know what you are your stubborn… you and Buffy, lucky you have no children" Angel said "um you for get something, I did have a son… don't you dare pull that on me" she said "well you gave your son up for greater reason… Buffy's not that smart good thing willow is" Angel perked up sitting up "what" Cordelia said picking up her son and said "Willow has Emma" Angel said "you do mean she's visiting her right" Cordelia said "no… she's living with her" Angel said "and Buffy letting her take care of her daughter right" Cordelia said "letting is loose term… she had no choice in the matter" Angel said "what… they took Emma from her" Cordelia said "Willow thought it was best" Angel said "oh willow thought it was best… you had nothing to do with that" Cordelia said "me… no" Angel said getting up "You had nothing to do with her decisions, seeing as how you were so for it in the hospital that night" Cordelia said "she's a bad parent Angel you and I both know that" Angel said "no we don't know that" Cordelia said "it what was best for the child… and for her" Angel said "I've talked to Willow, Buffy was taking care of that little girl, she makes sure she get what she needs" Cordelia said "oh please… year and how long is that going to last, it was best you should know that" he said "I'm not even sure I know you any more" he got up and left

Buffy was standing on her front porch smoking a cigarette she didn't really know when she picked up that habit but she was smoking she really didn't care Faith came up the walk Buffy said "oh joy… it the daughter of an alcoholic, let me guess you came to give me a pep talk about how you had such a horrible child hood with the alcoholic and I shouldn't do it to my own daughter" Faith said "shut it" Buffy said "ohh… is the old Faith back… you want to fight me now" Faith said "I would love to… but to be honest with you.. your not worth my energy really" Buffy said "well if you came to talk you can take you your pity taking ass home… because I'm not talking to you" she turned to go Faith said "have you her" Buffy turned to her "I've spoken wither yes… seen her no" Faith said "that shame guilt" Buffy said "oh go to hell" Faith said "think you'll be hitting it before me" Buffy said "that enlightening, but I think there s a scotch in the house with my name on it so… I'm going to go; you can stay out here if you want… I'll see you" she tossed her cigarette over her shoulder it fell at faith feet she put it out.

_Don't good bye this can't be it _

_Baby please cuz it's not worth it_

A few days later Buffy came back in from smoking and she went to get a drink… the phone rang she let the answering machine pick it up "Hi it's Buffy and…" her daughters voice came over the speaker "Emma we can't come to the phone were busy" Buffy finished "so if…" Emma said "you leave your name" Buffy said "and" Emma said "number" Buffy said "we'll get back to you as soon as we can" they said together "bye-bye" she listened it was Angel he said "I know it's been awhile Buffy… and I know you probably don't want to talk to me, we have a passed… we have a past, we have a lot on both side we need to work out, I don't want to end up like this, think we both need to just think about our lives and what were leaving behind and how were effecting everyone… it not worth the pain were going through, it not worth the pain were putting them through… it not worth it… it's not worth it… please think about it, please… call me if you get this" it beeped she had listened to it she didn't know if she could

One week later

0ctober 23, 2009

She picked up the phone and dialed his number it ran a few times and then he picked up "hello" she was quiet for a minute and then she said "hello" he said "Buffy" she said "Angel" she missed him he said "I was hopping you would call" she said "yeah… um you wanted" he said "to see if you wanted to go out for coffee or something" she said "I thought people with heart conditions couldn't drink anything with caffeine in them" he said "your right… that way I drink water down tea or hot lemonade" she said "oh… um I guess it would be okay" he said "good when" she said "um I guess um… tomorrow" he said "okay that will fine call me when your ready." She said "okay"

_You came into my life, _

_And it's so funny how you_

_made everything right,_

Buffy and Angel go to lunch Buffy takes him to a place she can't drive Angel shouldn't so they walked neither saying anything on the way they get there and sit they order both waiting for the other to break the silence Angel said "how are you doing" she said "fine as I can be… under the circumstances" he said "I heard about Emma… I'm sorry" Buffy said "don't be it what they wanted" he said "it wasn't far to you… I've only been in your house once sense you began drinking and I have to say you keep a clean house and it's no doubt you took care of that girl" Buffy said "yeah they don't see it that way… they thought sooner or later I would just end up neglecting her… they did it to scare me, I n hopes it would scare me straight… if anything they made it worse, not all I do all day is drink and picked up the habit of smoking" he said "you know it not good for you" she said "well duh" he said "yeah I suppose you to know that… I just I just care that all" she said "everyone cares… they care so much they make decision to protect me… oh boy look at the wondrous joy of how well that working out… maybe they will get it at some point that I have to make my own decisions and no one can get me out of this funk but me" he said "then why don't you" she said "I need to know exactly what caused to get out of it" he said "and could it have been me" she said "I don't know that" he said "I think you know exactly what it is that made you feel this way you just don't want to" she said "maybe admitting it make me feel that I'm actually looking something" he said "maybe be what your really loosing is yourself" they sat in silence through the rest of the lunch.

Faith came to see her again, Buffy was sulking again and drinking Faith said "boy don't you look miserable" Buffy said "how did you get in" Faith said "your spare under the floor board" Buffy said "looks like I'm going to have to move it now" faith said "you do realize your pathetic" Buffy said "this from a woman that killed about three people and denied it killing and beating up people and oh yeah turning on the only people that cared for her" Faith said "yeah… but maybe you should listen to the last part of what you said" Buffy said "sorry I didn't turn my back on you all you all turned your back on me" Faith said "you know that Bull" Buffy said "you all lied to my face… you all knew what I had been through and you all lied to me, you turned your back on me" Faith said "you know everyone knew what you just been through we all were trying to make it easy on you just moved here you were adjusting" Buffy said "I should have know" Faith said "Angel found out the day after you moved here that he was sick what was he suppose to do come knocking on your door and said… hey Buffy nice to se you again yeah I'm human, oh and by the way I'll be dead in a year the same way you husband died… welcome to the neighborhood" Buffy said nothing Faith said "you know he cared more for you then to just do something like that… if you don't know it, he still loves you… you are his reason to live, if he can't help you and you don't want him he would rather be dead" Buffy said nothing faith said "fine riot in here and die but sooner or later your going to look up and he won't be there… he still is… don't let that go, you love each other you loved each other so much it made me jealous but I act lay found some one that loved me B… you had it don't loose not for something stupid…your alive he's still alive, there still time… all you need is to push each other in the right direction"

_now your saying to me_

_something ain't right,_

she went over to his place and knocked he answered after a minute and when he did he heart broke he was in his wheel chair she couldn't speak he said "Buffy" she said "I just… I came to talk" he said "come in" he shut the door when she did and he went towards the living room he said gesturing for her to sit she nodded and did so she didn't look at him he said "is something wrong she said "no… I" she looked at him she couldn't find words he said "is the wheel chair upsetting you" she said "you figured it out" he said "yeah your not looking at mean when you do you look at the chair and stop talking… if you want I could move to a chair" she said "no… your fine, you're the dick one you don't need to move on my account, I just thought you were going to use it" he said "I got tired after lunch today thought it best to use the chair, it's not that bad it moves easier then I thought would, I don't like it either but it conserves my energy… and I need as much as I can get these days" she said "you really talk like a old man" he said "but you knew that… now I actually feel my age" she said "honestly if a person lived to be your age they would be a walking Skelton" she giggled nervously and then said "not funny" he said "you wanted to talk about something I know it wasn't about the wheel chair" she stood up "you know, I should be going… I'm getting a headache, you need your rest so I'm going to just go" she got up and raced to the door a bit to fast she got her hand on the knock he called her and came around the corner as she turned around she said "Angel, I'm sorry… I just can't let you back into my life like this, I can't do it I can't" she wouldn't say it she opened the door and left shutting it behind her.

The next morning he got up it was raining he went out and stop on the parch just smelling the rain, the rain had meant so much in his existence the one that meant the most was that rainy night with her there first and only time to make love, not only but there first time it had meant so much to him and her to think they would never have that again scared him, he sat back on the porch swing putting his legs up laying the blanker over himself and pondering what she was doing. He looked over at the dark house and hoped that she was okay.

_what did I do _

_did I hurt you, baby please tell me _

_how to dry your eyes_

_I never meant to make you cry_

At the same time she sat on her couch and stared into space the silence was being deafening she got up and turned on the radio and turned it up it had on a nice loud pop song she sat back down and then she sat there again and then when that some went off Wild horses came on

_It doesn't matter what they say or do _

_Don't let it get to you, Don't be afraid_

she listened and faded back to that last dance at the prom the dance the last dance was this going to be the last dance there last dance he was sick god he was really going to die for the first time in a long time she cried she really cried she took that glass and through it into the picture on the mantle they all fell

_You can break through _

_Take what I been through, To see that _

_Can't hold a good woman down _

she curled up on the couch and rocked

Three weeks later

Willow and Kennedy were at home Emma was in her room Willow called her for breakfast she came out and sat in the chair Kennedy said "anything special going on in school" she said nothing and willow went sat the plate in front of her she wouldn't touch it" she didn't touch it Willow said "you have to eat something" she took the plate and threw it in the floor they booth said loudly "EMMA" she crossed her arms and sat there Willow said "go to your room and get your things for school… and stay in there until we call you" she didn't move Willow said "GO NOW" Emma got up and tossed the chair over Willow said "GO" she was gone. Kennedy picked up the plate pieces and the n got up the food Willow said "I don't know what to do with her" Kennedy said "she's rebelling all she wants is to go home" Willow said "I don't even think it was such a gray idea to take her in the first place" Kennedy said "what can you do now"

Angel was at home trying to straighten out some stuff in his living room he was pushing a book in on the computer desk when he knocked a book off the end he rolled the wheel chair around to that side and picked it up out was a book when he did he dropped something out of it he picked it up and there it was the old photo he had of Buffy she was smiling the color was fading to brown tint it had been so long sense he had seen that photo it made his heart hurt he made the decision to go see Emma sense he hadn't seen her in a while talk to Willow.

Angel knocked on the door to the apartment that night Willow opened it she said "Angel" he said "hi can I come in" Willow said "sure come in" he walked in and sat down on the couch he said "can I speak with Emma" she said "she's in her room, I had to punish her after she threw her breakfast in the floor" he said "I'll talk to you after I talk to her" he went to the back toward her room and knock.

he pushed the door open and she wasn't in the room he went toward the closet and when h opened the done he didn't see her there either but when he turned-on the light moving the cloths she was in the corner Angel said "Emma why are you in the corner" she said nothing just snuggled up with the bear he said "you want to come out and talk" she looked at him he reach out a hand "come on" she took his hand and came out he sat next to her on the bed he said "how are you doing" she said "Willows mean" Angel said "I heard what you did" she didn't say anything he said "what wrong" she said "I don't want to stay here I want to go home to mommy… can you take me to mommy please" Angel said "I know you want to go home, I know… and they never should have taken you the way they did… your mothers sick and she needs to get better they are keeping you so she can get better" she said "if mommy's sick I could take care of her" he smiled "I wish you could but it something she has to do for her self… but you know what… I want to give this to you until your mom comes" she said "what" he pulled a picture frame out of his coat it was a framed copy of that photo in a pretty frame she said "this was mommy" he said "yeah back when I knew her" she said "like in that other picture" he said "what other picture" she said "mommy had a picture of herself in a pink dress and she was… she was with you" she looked at him "you didn't get older" he said "yes I did… where did she have the photo" she said "mommy hid the photo behind mommy and daddy's wedding picture" he was shocked he didn't know she still had it and that it was hidden in behind her wedding photo he said "oh yeah well I knew her back a few years before you were born we were friends then I left and she married your dad" she said "I'll keep it until mommy comes back" he said "take good care of it" she said "okay"

he went out to talk to Willow she looked at him she said "please don't look at me" Angel said "why not you the one that took her" Willow said "yes and no, yes I agreed to keep, I talk to Cordelia about and then I talked to Giles and Giles is the one that told me to keep her" Angel said "why" she said "he felt that social services was going to find out about that incident and look into and enviably take her and place her in foster care and then it would be real hell to get her back" Angel said "um hum" Willow said "I starting to think it wasn't a good idea" Angel said "I don't even know anymore" Willow said "have you seen hr she is she okay" he said "yes I have seen her 5 times we've had coffee once a week, then she saw me in my wheel chair and freaked out I brought her coffee but she wouldn't speak to me… and no all she talked about when she talked was her daughter" Willow said "your using a wheel chair" Angel nodded "only in the house… cane is for when I come out, I don't like to think about it" she nodded he said "I better go I'm getting tired" she nodded he could see the looks of pity in her face but he wouldn't pay attention to it he had some time before all was lost, he had time to make hiss decision.

_If I meant anything was _

_to be right by your side _

_Where did I go wrong _

_my love is strong_

_all it ever wanted was you _

Five days later

Angel went and knocked on Giles door, the old man answered he said "Angel… so come in" Angel nodded and come into the mans apartment he went and sat down Giles said "can I get you some tea" Angel said "no to much caffeine in it just some hot lemon water would be fine" he nodded go to get it Giles said "what can I do for you" Angel said "I want to know why you did it" he said "oh I should have know this one was coming… why Willow took Emma" Angel nodded he said "it was in the best interest of the child" Angel said "oh that why the child it tiring up everything she can get her hands on in Willow and Kennedy's apartment" Giles said nothing Angel said "did you tell her what you were doing" Giles said "no Willow" Angel said "no you wanted Willow to do it so you should have told that little girl why she can't go home to her mother" Giles said "it was" Angel said "if it was what you felt was right you should have explained it to her YOUR self" Angel got up "but no let me guess you went to her with candy and toys and explained in a way about her mother… you didn't take the blame" Giles said "Angel you don't understand it was not you position" Angel said "actually no it wasn't yours, Buffy once told me what you did to here back in high school the whole watchers test thing you smiled in her face while you fed her those drugs… all your doing to that little girl smiling in her face while feeding her those lies… go to her and tell her the truth, that it the lest you can do" Giles said "and what about you Angel why don't you tell yourself the truth, your dying.. and the only reason is because you refuse to get the surgery… you want Buffy to save you for once… isn't that the truth" Angel said "she saved me more then she ever need to" Giles said "and you want her to save you, now who's being selfish" Angel said "I never asked her for this… I accept it, if it's my time to go I'll go" Giles said "but does she want you to… and forcing her to decide weather you die or live… that unfair to her after you know what she's been through, not that what makes you looks selfish" Angel walked out.

Angel decide the next day to walk around the city just need to think he knew he was pushing it he didn't really care anymore he some times pondered what would have happen if things have went differently if he had kept his humanity the first time it was given back to him would he have been the one marred to Buffy and would Emma have been there chide would they have had more then one child would he have this stupid heart condition, there way no real way to know, he had made the choice "he had to live with it and it, it looks like he was going to have to die with it as wells, his heart hurt it felt heavy, he laughed he was going to be the first man to die of a broken heart he perked up and continued his walk.

_if I can ease the pain _

he walked by her house on the way home and stood by her tree and looked at it he saw some shadows of her moving around drunkenly within the house he felt for her he really did, he would do all he could to try to help her he, loved her he remember saying that that was never going to change and it wasn't until the day he died that was never going to change. He had spent most of his last years as a vampire helping people and all he wanted to do now was help and prayed she would help he wasn't being selfish he was being scared he was scared of getting that surgery Cordelia and all his friends could talk till it came running out of there ears but what they didn't get was that some times only one person could get through something to you none else can all they have to do is care and say they under stand it would be okay… that all he really wanted. He sighed taking a breathe and turned to go to his house

_what ever it take s to _

_baby what I'll do_

One month later

he saw her walking in the park smoking a cigarette he was still on his cane he saw her sit on the bench he walked over to here and said "is this seat taken" she looked up at him and said "no" he sat and said "how are you doing" she looked at him he said "not great" she said "what do you want Angel" he said "I was just walking and I saw you" she said "well you could keep on walking" he said "I see bad morning" she said "when is it not" he said "why don't you stop then" she said "no" she looked at him "you don't understand" he said "I see a very beautiful woman vibrant and lively lowing herself to drink every form of liquor she can find in order to wash away something she refuses to admit to anyone is bothering including me" she said "you talk to you" she shook he head she would go there she got up and headed home

_why do you feel this way _

he followed her al the way back she said "why the hello are you following me" he said "I do live on this block… well the next one but I still have to go through this one to get to that one" she crossed her arms she said "well the whole skulking thing might have been cute back in high school, I'm almost thirty… not that great anymore" Angel said "you could only call it skulking if it was at night and it's do I'm" she said "what do you want" Angel said "something's bothering you, more then just your daughter more then just your husbands death, see I was always very good at reading people and especially you" she said "great… what do you read from me then" he said "I would much rather talk in my house" she waved her hand in the direction of his house and they walked in that direction

they got in and she flopped on his couch he went and made something for them to drink he gave her the Tea and he drank lemon water she said "so oh great reader of me tell me what's wrong with me" he said sitting down "your mad" she said "wow… you got that" he said "I'm not done, your made that your husbands dead your mad at the fact your friends too k your daughter and your mad at me, but not at me your mad that I'm sick, not just with regular illness but with something that could kill me the same way it killed you husband, your making his issues mine and I had nothing to do with them just the fact that I was sick and had the same problem he did and neither of us told you thing is I would have told you he never had that the chance" she said "he had every chance… every damn chance he knew what was wrong with him I found the medication in the cabinet 6 weeks before he died" he said "another reason to hate me and then it was like rubbing salt in the wound when you came here and saw me in the wheel chair, your mad with me you refuse to yell at me for fear your going to hurt me or kill me and you won't yell at me and all the other things because you still love me and you won't admit that because then you would have to look at me like you were losing the best thing that ever happen to you next to your child, your mad with me fine be mad with me yell scream at me if you want I'm giving you that hell yell at me about your husbands death I don't care… but let it go, but let it go were both running out of time" she looked at him and got up she said "fine you want o me to yell at you… fine, leave me THE HELL ALONE, LEAVE ME ALONE THERE IS NO US THERE NEVER WILL BE AGAIN YOU WANT TO DIE GO RIGHT ON AHEAD I ONCE TOLD YOU I WOULDN"T WATCH I WON'T JUST LEVE ME ALONE… I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOU" he said "that was nice but your still not telling me what bothering you I know that isn't it but it wouldn't help until you say it" she said "I told you to leave it" she went towards the door and she put her hand on the knob he came around the corner he said "I'm still here, that won't be for long if you don't talk to me, you told me that you couldn't make it with out me or watch me die I'm still here, I'll still be here for you till I take my last breathe weather it be in the next 6 days or 6 months she took a breath and walked out the door

_baby you don't have to _

_cuz I'm here for you _

_don't tell me you want out of this _

One month later

It was her 30th birthday she came down stairs "happy birthday to me" she started off the morning with a large breakfast and a hold of bottle of red wine she would finished the rest for dinner she thought about treating herself to lunch but nixed it and stayed home to contemplate her life she opened the door and went to take a smoke when she saw delivery truck the man came up to her he said "Buffy Finn" she said "yes" she hadn't resounded to that name in months he said "package for you" she said "thank you" she signed for it and took the huge box and went inside

_You say you want to give up _

_Felt like I had enough _

She went and sat down she opened the box and it had no post mark she found a letter inside typed who ever gave it to her went through a lot to make sure she didn't know who they were she read the letter she did just what it said she picked up the first it was wrapped nicely and she hunted the side sliding it out and it was a painting of her and her daughter sleeping on the couch fire from the fireplace creating a glow on there faces the letter had said that sense she could see her it was a nice way to have her near. She smiled at it and sat it on the table she went for the next it was a book of poetry not just any poetry though hand written poetry and she knew it wasn't Angel that wrote it but it was a nice book she thought she might read it when she got a chance or felt like it. She got the last it was box she opened it and it was a flip open kit filled with hand carved handled daggers and in the handled was a impressed image of a battle that she had defeated from the time she started to the time she left slaying behind and they were pained and jeweled and embossed she smiled she remembered each those battled she loved the customized blades maybe she would get a chance to try them out

_Been to the edge of the ledge but I didn't jump _

_My life will some it up _

_but you can't hold a good woman down _

She sat there looked at it all she loved it all he was still so sweet to have given her such a mice birthday gift she remembered all that he had said it hurt it only hurt because it was right but she was not going to let him know he was right she knew he knew he was right but she was stubborn like everyone said she was all she real wanted was him but she wouldn't ever say it not to anyone that mattered but he was right sooner or later he wouldn't be there.

_don't say it time for us to quit _

_don't say good bye this can't be it_

at the same time he sat wondering it had done the right thing, he had been a bit harsh on her and she was probably right to have told him to leave her alone. He really didn't know any more

_baby cause it not worth it _

_don't tell me you want out of this _

Buffy woke up n the middle of the night she got that feeling back the one only a slayer could get something was up not right she couldn't put her finger on it but she knew that something wasn't right she got up and look out the window and she knew something was up weather it was hellmouth-ish she didn't know, she just knew something wasn't right.

In a club in down town LA sat the Buffy double listing to the rock techno beat drinking a martini she liked the taste of it she had been spending these last months getting herself together the feeling of a human the walk the sense in order to blend in she like it she liked the way they existed she even had a bit of fun, but tonight she was there on business and this business would be best handle with out the really Buffy finishing out so she was experimenting the plans needed to get in motion for the slayer death it would be beautiful because no one would know she was coming and she knew she had to get the best help out there and who was better then him, he came and sat next to her she smiled "awe you must be the oh so famous Dracula" he said "you know of me" she said "oh yes, you see I need your help and your going to help me and I'm going to help you get what you want" he said "I'm listening" she smiled stirring her drink "good"

The nest morning Buffy got up she knew she was in no shape to face something big and she knew it was coming so she had to do something for herself she started out with the liquor pouring half of it out she would start to went her what off day by day and then she would get to work. She got up and went to the phone she called someone.

_don't say it time for us to quit _

_don't say good bye this can't be it _

Two weeks later

Angel was tired she he really be this tired this soon her was at his desk looking through some thing then he noticed his book shield he saw the photo album he took it out and he started to go through it and it hit him like a tone of bricks all the photos that had been taken sense the beginning of Angel investigations and some from before that of him and Buffy's friends at the prom that night and what they did after that Cordelia and how she had grown as a person a friend pictures from the wedding the fun of it all Faith robin Willow group gather they had all gathered at the wedding and they became the new group of friends and they had a tight bond he had always defended everyone of them in away he was the glue that kept them together and now, if he died he thought about it seriously if he died then would become of them, would they still be friends now with Buffy back in the picture they had all become so estranged do to him and Buffy and his loving obsession of Buffy's safety, and her denial he didn't know what to do any more he didn't even know if he could still get the surgery he didn't know anymore that just made him more tired and more miserable he didn't know what to do.

_baby cause it not worth it _

_you mean the world to me_

_and all I do is try to, give you all of me_

_I never do anything that would be pleasing… to you _

_I never knew… that you were hurting_

Buffy got a knock on her door and was shocked to find Cordelia and Doyle had come to see her, she said "wow look what the cat drug in" she leaned on the doorway "how can I help you" Cordelia said "you could invite us in" Doyle said "please" Cordelia said "if your not drinking or smoking" Buffy said "you know Cordelia Angel told me you had changed you know" she looked her over "I don't see it, except maybe for the baby fat" Cordelia got that look like she was about to go off on her Doyle said "Delia, don't" he looked at her "can we come in" Buffy said "if she can bite her tongue sure" Cordelia said "whatever" Buffy opened the door ushering them in and they came in the house looked different looked like she had redecorated in a good way it had been patted new furniture pictures on the wall Read walls with tan trimming tan furniture and some black tan carpeting pictures on the mantle and on a mate on the all wither daggers it looked like a normal person lived there Cordelia said "looks nice" she expected to find a glass of liquor some where she walked in the nicely redone kitchen Doyle said "nice who did it" she said "Xander a friend of ours, got it done in two weeks… he's doing some work for me" Cordelia looked in the cabinets Buffy leaned in the door way "if your looking for booze there not here unless you want to count the empty bottles in the back of my end cabinet that I keep as a reminder or what it had done to me" Cordelia said "your sober" Buffy said "three weeks now, and stopped smoking then too" she pulled up her sleeve "that Nicolette stuff works and the gum… now that you checked me out can we finally cut the crap and get to why the hell you're here"

Cordelia said "were here about Angel" Buffy sat down and said "I see" Doyle said "he's not doing great emotionally and we" Cordelia said "we need your help" Buffy said "my help… my help how exactly" Doyle said "to talk to him" Cordelia said "he needs you" Buffy said "how" Doyle said "he just needs" Cordelia said "the man would rather die if he thinks your not going to come back to him, he knees your help he can't do this alone" Buffy nodded "he needs me to save him for a change is that it" Doyle said "that exactly it" Buffy said "so if he dies that will be my fault for not helping him" Cordelia said "yes" Doyle said "DELIA" Cordelia said "sorry no" Buffy got up "he tell me to talk to him to tell at him, I can't yell at him" Doyle said "it's to hard" Buffy said "yes, does he think about what I've been through about hiding this from me has hurt you" Cordelia said "get the hell over yourself "this wasn't about you this was never about you, it about him… and the fact that he never thought life was worth living without you, and without you he would rather die" Doyle said "and you know you feel the same way about him or else you wouldn't be fighting it, it your pride that pushes you away from each other" Cordelia said "so get over it, he needs you need him" Buffy crossed her arms looking at the floor "your right" Cordelia said "I am" Buffy nodded "but I have to figure me out first and until I do that I can't do anything for him" Doyle said "and if that takes six months" Buffy said "it won't, because for once I'm going to take a page out of Angels book and I'm going to go get my center back, I'm going to Japan for about a week, when I come back, I'll talk to him then" Cordelia said "that a bit selfish he could die in that time while your off getting your ora in check glad Willow took my advice and got Emma away from you when she did you would have corrupted her to" Buffy said "what" Doyle said "on that note were going to go" Buffy said "Cordelia... you told her, you told them to take my child away" Cordelia said "yeah I did" Buffy swallowed her anger and said "get out of my house now Cordelia" Cordelia said "gone but if he dies, I'm holding you personally responsible" they walked out or rather Doyle dragged her out she said "Doyle" he turned "I'll help him, but not for you and not for her… for me" he said "good while your there in Japan go see Angels mentor Yoto Chan" Buffy nodded.

Buffy was ticked at Cordelia she went into the kitchen she reached into the cabinet and grabbed the empty bottle and began breaking them when she was done she stood there trying to calm herself

_It doesn't matter what they say or do _

_Don't let it get to you, Don't be afraid _

_You can break thought _

and she slid to the floor she was no were near ready to start talking to those people she went to start packing she was leaving and she was going to go see who Doyle suggested,

_Take what I been through, To see that _

_Can't hold a good woman down _

the next morning she was in her car on the way to the airport as she prepared to leave town for week to get her head together she left got there the next morning and then she got the hotel and she went through the process of looking for the trainer

_You say you want to give up _

_Felt like I had enough _

_Been to the edge of the ledge but I didn't jump_

_My life will some it up _

and she found him the next day wish was Monday and she started her mental and physical cleaning, things that were so familiar to here that she did with him it was good for her Buffy starts to think about his feelings and in tern writes a letter to him

_but you can't hold a good woman down_

_Now I take the blame for anything _

_that I've done that has caused you pain _

Angel was at home in bed Faith had come to see him to bring him the mail her sat up as comfortably as he could and put on his glasses and opened the letter it was from Japan he opened to read it

February 19 2010

Dear Angel

he smiled he put the letter down and called Willow and said "Hey Willow could you do me a favor and Bring Emma over here tomorrow… thank you, By" he was getting sicker he knew it but he was not going to be in the hospital when she came back he hoped he would wait for her to return. Then he would say it and begin to do something to about it.

Angel answered when Kennedy knocked he said "hey" she said "the wheel chair" he said "yeah, tired again" Emma said Mr. Angel" he said "yeah but I'm no mister, just call me Angel" she said "okay Angel" he smiled he let them in and Kennedy said "you wanted her to some over" Angel said "yeah" he looked at Emma and said "your mother wanted me to talk to you" Emma said "mommy is she okay" Angel said "yeah and she going to come and see you really soon" she said "really" Angel nodded she smiled happy she said "will I be able to stay with her" he nodded "yes, maybe not the first visit but next time" she said "yeah" he said "and I heard your mothers got a present for you" she said "Ooo can I go get it" Angel said "your mothers not home right now but when she get back she'll bring it to you" Emma said "Really" he smiled "yeah" he reached down gouging against all he knew he should do and he lifted her up into his lap and said "your getting big… your mom wanted me to give you a kiss for her" he kiss the little girl on the cheek Kennedy said "how do you know she's changed Angel" Angel said nothing just handling her the letter she nodded after reading it. She said "I have some time I can help you out a bit at least until I have to pick up Willow from Giles" he said "something up" Kennedy said "I don't know" he said "that will be fine"

_don't tell me you want out of this _

_**it's not** **worth me… losing you uh oh ohh**_

_don't say it time for us to quit _

_**you know I love you baby oh ohh** _

_don't say good bye this can't be it _

_**please… yeah yeah**_

_baby cause it not worth it _

Buffy had just on her way home she was driving her car she had to pick up from the Impound sense it had been taken over 5 months ago because of her drinking problem, she was tired she wanted to get in and drop by Angels a minute before she went in for the night, she had so much on her mind things she was wanting to say to him and all that she was ready to talk and do it all and she would help him get better. She pulled in she was getting out of her car and was about to take the stuff in she had one of her bags and she put on the front step and she heard a Ambulance sailing down into the next block her heart skipped because that was Angel block she dropped her things and forgot about the car trunk being open and she ran in that direction they were heading in and she planed on slipping in be hind them when Cordelia blocked her path.

_when I see you this way _

_**you **_

Buffy said "Cordelia please don't do this to me I want to see him I want to know what going on" Cordelia said "Great, Angel has to nearly die to get you to give a damn" Buffy said "I told you I was leaving, he knew I was coming back" Cordelia said "not soon enough, he doesn't need you… I was crazy to think he did he was to he needed you weren't there, now he doesn't get away" they were brining him out Cordelia pushed her back to the side of the porch so she could get to him Cordelia said "leave go home I'm going to the hospital with my friend, who I in fact still care about not much I can say for you" Buffy walked way she was heated as she watched Cordelia get in the ambulance with him and she head to her car.

The rain began to pore out side like the lord was crying for her for him for everyone she was praying as she spend behind the Ambulance to try to follow them she could think about anything but the last things she said to him was to leave her alone had she done this to him had she made him this way she was terrified for his life she got to the hospital trying to calm down

_**to make it all brand new**_

she went and got a parking space and tried to calm her nerves some, most situation she would have been drinking and she knew that would have clouded her judgment, she need to think clearly she need to be there for him and she would run Cordelia's ass over to get to him if she had to she was not afraid of her she got out of her car and headed into the building and her friends were pooling in she was drenched, she knew they weren't going to let her in to see him like before, Willow and Kennedy came in first and then Doyle was going for coffee, Buffy walked up to them Cordelia said "what are you doing here" Buffy said "I have the right to see him" Cordelia said "no you don't" Willow said "Cordelia don't do this" Cordeli said "he doesn't need her, coming in like a world wind and then throwing him away at a drop of a dam hat" Buffy said "I'm not going to do that to him I've changed Cordelia" she said "I don't see it" Buffy said "you know I'm ten damn seconds from looking my damn cool and really messing you up" Faith said coming up with robin "she'll do it" Cordelia said "you think you scare me, I know all your Crap Buffy and I'm sick of it" Buffy took a second and turned half way knocked Cordelia in to the floor with one good punch "you sick sadistic bitch" she followed with another three rows of curse words at her about what she had said about her child then she calm some "I just want to see him" she was near tears

_let me take the pain away _

_**let me take it all away**_

Doyle said "you can see him First when he comes out…. Or rather when we can go in" Buffy nodded "thank you"

Time went by as very slow as Buffy paces

_anything for you _

_cuz baby I'm in love _

_**cuz I'm in love**_

the floor Cordelia sat with Doyle and he held a Ice pack to her face she glared at Buffy form her seat they all just sat and waited, the doctor Finally came out he said "he's stabled, he's not comatose though good thing he was brought in when he was we didn't have to do the Emergency surgery but it getting critical he has about two weeks before he won't be able to turn back at all his heart is to weak and for now we could do the surgery but he's may not stay stable long enough to finish it, he may wake up soon the long he's out the more likely he's not going to wake out in time were going to have to have someone make the decision on the surgery" Cordelia said "we'll do it" he said "actually" looking at the chart he said "a Buffy Summers Finn is the only one that can" Cordelia said "WHAT" Doyle said "Angel had me consult the doctors after he got the later and said if anything happened he want Buffy to handle it" Cordelia was peeved Buffy smirk doctor said "who is Buffy" Buffy said "me, that would be me" the doctor finished talking and she was smiling Cordelia continued to glare

_so what must I do_

_**to** make it easy _

The next morning, Angel started come to and the first thing he saw was her sitting curled up uncomfortably in the chair he smiled to himself she opened her eyes she said "hey" he said "hey, please tell me they didn't crack my chest again" she said "no they didn't they fed a tub into your heart and a bunch of another doctor stuff basically saying that your prolonged for a few more weeks" Angel said "what then I'll be dead… please tell me no"

_when I see _

_**I'm in love**_

_you this way _

_**I'm in love**_

she said "no gives you a few more weeks to decide weather your ready to have that major surgery" he said "oh" she pulled the chair closer taking his hand she said "you really scared me"

_So what must I do_

_**Cuz I will do**_

…_to make it easy _

_let me take the pain away_

he said "I'm sure… I'm So.." she put her finger to his lips "don't be the only person that should be sorry is Cordelia" he said "she gave you a heard time" Buffy said "hard time would be a understatement, by the way if she has a black eye when she comes to see you, couldn't help it" he laughed rubbing his chest and coughing he said "I made sure that the only two people that could touch any medical papers were you and Doyle and only Doyle if you weren't back yet so she has no say in the whole deal"

_**for you **_

_anything for you _

_cuz baby I love you _

_**cuz baby I'm so love you **_

she said "oh" he said "she's nice really but she tries to run my life like I'm her kid and I'm not I'm grown man and can make my own decisions" she smirked he said "what" she said "remind you of anyone" he said "I walked into that one and I'm sorry for that to" she said "you have time to say sorry… but I would much rather you get well and prove it" he smirked he said "are we okay" she touched his face

_don't tell me you want out of this _

_don't day it time for us to quiet _

_don't day good bye this can't be it _

_baby cause it not worth it _

"yeah but you scared me last night and I was then thrown into a spin on the thought of loosing you, I can't that what I wanted to tell you when I got back but then you were being rushed to the hospital and tension was hi and all I really want from you is to know do you forgive" he said "no" she was shocked he said "because there is nothing you need to apologize for, I was sick I didn't tell you in turn you went into depression I wanted your help and that was wrong of me so more then anything I need to be asking for your forgiveness" Buffy smiled "call it a draw"

_never meant to hurt you _

_in any way, so this day I want to say _

_BABY PLEAE FORGIVE ME _

the doctor came in and said "Angel, we need to talk" Angel said "we don't have to, you can do what ever you want to my heart… in one week, I want to take this next week to finish up my some of my loose ends" he said "I wouldn't recommend it" Buffy said "I'll take care of him, it okay" he said "and after" she said "yeah" he said "okay you can sign him out tomorrow though" they agreed the others were lowed in and they spent the rest of the day talking until the doctors shooed them out and Buffy was allowed to stay she shut the door in Cordelia's face she was fuming on that one

the next day she had stay with her wheel chair and all she wasn't bothered by it any more she put him to bed made dinner gave her something to do by herself she was happy. She made sure to be wary of his diet things he couldn't eat do to the sugar that could make his heart beat faster she went up stairs with the tray of food he was reading she said "hey" she sat the try down he looked it over he said "looks good" she said "no sugar or sodium" he said "is it still taste" she said "yeah, I made it work" he sat the tray across his lap he said "you know you didn't have to do this" she said "I want to make you dinner gave me something to do" he said "no let me stay here with you" she said "don't worry about it, the house is very nice but it can drive a person stir crazy to be in it alone, I wanted the company… and I know how much you hat having to many people in your person al space you were always a loner but, I didn't want you leave you alone in that house, just incase you had a relapse no one would have been there to help you"

_don't tell me you want out of this _

_**it's not worth me… losing you uh oh ohh**_

he nodded she said "plus I miss having you around" he said "oh… you know why I had that lapse in the first place" she said "why" he said "I pushed my heart to heard no heavy lifting I don't lift anything heavier then a tray any more and I was tired the day before I was in my wheel chair and I wanted to give your daughter your message personally Kennedy brought her over and I was to blame because knowing I can't lift to mush wright I picked her up and sat her in my lap which was wrong of me but it was my choice" she said "you were doing that for me" he nodded "you asked and I wanted to… she wants to see you"

_don't say it time for us to quit _

_**you know I love you baby oh ohh **_

Buffy smiled "she does" Angel nodded "she does… you can head over there now if you want" she said "Angel I don't know" he said "I'll be fine don't use me as an excuse… I can move around fine I have the well chair I'll be fine" she said "but" he gave her look she said "going"

over the week she moved his stuff in and he set up the surgery it was the day before he had to go in for the surgery which was going to be the following morning that afternoon she made dinner they were sitting after dinner he said "you want to talk, now" she said "yeah" he said "okay" she pulled her hair back putting it behind her ears and then

_if I can ease the pain _

she said "you were right, in more ways then you know, I was scared of loosing you and I used my husbands death as a blockade, and the truth was I was mad at him" she looked at him and sad "we weren't happy for at least two yours of our marriage those last two years maybe because he was sick maybe because he hated me, he probably hated me be cause he knew I never loved him" she shrugged "of course I loved him he was my husband I had his child but I didn't love him the way he deserved to be loved I never loved him the way I loved you u never could he knew that and it made him made we stopped having sex, because that al it was three years before he died, I hated the life out there… and I grew an animosity towards him because he dragged me out there, our marriage was doomed truth is if he handed died we most likely would have divorced or ended up with one of us cheating and you know no that I think of it I think he might have been cheating on me with that dark haired chick he was friends with out on a fire fight out in the jungle…" he said "you think he would have" Buffy said "he did it before we even married back when we first started dating and broke up he was letting vampires feed on him it got him off in ways that I couldn't, I'm pretty sure he was" he said "god Buffy I never knew" Buffy said "it's okay I know, then he started taking trips to just get away from me I knew that what it was… to get away from me, to be honest if someone ad told me you were human… no offence to you or him I probably would have slapped with you even though I was still marred" he said "non taken.. I just waited for you to get a life with someone to have kids, I realized the second that happen was the second I got to become the man I wanted to be for you" she said "the cosmic plan, sure knows how to laugh at us"

_what ever it takes s to _

_baby what I'll do_

Angel said "yeah" she said "we weren't happy Emma didn't know it we put on airs for her" Angel said "she probably knew" Buffy said "I don't think she did" Angel said kissed know a lot of things, you knew when your parents were fighting" Buffy said "yeah well it was kind of hard to miss because of the fact that they were yelling at the top of there damn lungs in the middle of the night it kind of woke me up" he said "sorry" she said "no you don't have to be, I romantically we were heading into the same place me and Riley we would have ended up in some variation of that we would have never yelled at each other… no we would have stayed quiet about it and then did our things behind each others back… but Angel just know we were the farthest from happy" he said "yeah I wasn't much different"

he said "I became human, yeah me… but I didn't have you, my whole life was spread out in front of me and I gad no one to share it with and no place to go with it" she said "you had your friends" he said "you know what I mean… I didn't have a lasting relationship because I wanted you… you were what I need, I never slept with any of the woman Cordelia set me up with we just all ended up talking a lot, then I stopped the madness after a year and went on to being a loner got a dog" she said "yeah he was your best companion… even for you" he said "thanks I think" she laughed. He said "I was miserable; I was getting sick three years ago… I knew it and I didn't feel like doing anything about it I felt like for what… why" Buffy said "for your friends" he said "and spend the rest of my life by my self" she said "I would have come along any way" Angel said "I couldn't know that" she said "I know" he said "I missed you a lot, I missed you more then I ever though it would Willow had given me your number but I wouldn't call it because I didn't want to disrupt your happy little family" she said "oh so you thought" he said "yeah, I wanted what Riley had and he didn't even release that he had" she nodded he said "all I really wanted was you"

_why do you feel this way? _

_baby you don't have to _

she watched him he voice was raw he said "that all I wanted I wanted you hear with me because I was scared to death of dying I still am, I put up the phased of being strong when all I ever was week I told you that once I was always a weal wimpy man, my Father…" she said "he wasn't right you are the strongest man I know, to face what you had alone, to face this alone as long as you have… to get me back, your father was wrong about you" she got down on her knees

_cuz I'm here for you _

and took his hands in hers looking in his eyes "you're strong… I know I've seen it I've seen the worst of you and I know the best of you and even you now isn't half bad, you a great man… better then any I ever knew" he said "you mean that" she said "I wouldn't say it if I didn't" she touched his face he said "all I wanted was you to be there for me when I need you I had been there for you some many times for so many others and I wanted some there for me, it may have been selfish but I wanted that indeed that" he held her hand to his check just enjoying the feeling both in tears now

_don't tell me you want out of this _

"_**don't you run away… "**_

she said "you deserved that and much more… I never got what your friends meant when they said you need me to day it well hear ai am add I'm saying it, I'm hear Angel I'm not going any were I'm here for you and everything is going to be okay for the both of us… I once told you strong is fighting and this"

_don't say it time for us to quit _

…_**don't you say just leave me alone" **_

she took his hand in both of hers and shook them inter twining hers with his "were going to do it together, because loosing us isn't worth it"

_don't say good bye this can't be it _

"_**not the time for us right now" **_

_baby cause it not worth it _

she started to cry more I was selfish and I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for it all I'm sorry" she was cry harder she laid her head in his lap and sobbed.

_don't say good bye this can't be it _

_**it's not even worth this conversation right **_

_baby cause it not worth it _

Later that night they were curled up on her couch together tears had dried and it was just them he said "that was all I wanted" she said "we to" he said "you think we can make this work for us" she said "yeah, I don't doubt it, all you got to do is make it out of this day on surgery and we'll be straight"

I can do this alone

I can do this alone

Alone

But I'm trying stay with you

It's not all about you

Oh no no, it not all about you

he said "that what am aroide of" he played wither hand she said "you'll be fine" he said "how do you know that" she said "because I know you" she sat up on his lap :"we've made it through worse together"

I can do this alone

Try everything

Done everything

I feel ya

I can do this alone

I feel ya

she ran her hands through his hair tilting her head and smiling she had done some resurging one before to Riley but this felt way more right she said "you have world fought the battles of many and held me together more times then I could ever think of, so let me feel this one for once"

It's not all about you

Cause I can do this alone

Baby help

It's not all about you

Baby help… Baby help

he smirked "okay" she kissed each side of his head he said "what are you doing" she said "you see, trust me" he said "you and only you… with my life" she said "good"

Cause I can do this alone

It's not all about you no, no, no

I can do this alone

I want to stay together

I want to stay together too

I can't do this alone

she kissed him on the lips and deepened the kissed then she pulled away resting her head on his chest he wrapped his arms around her and they soon feel asleep.

Alone Alone… Alone

_**not worth it **_

_**worth it**_

_**worth it**_

_don't tell me you want out of this _

_don't day it time for us to quiet _

_don't day good bye this can't be it _

_baby cause it not worth it _

_worth it_

The next afternoon Buffy took him to the hospital he had to stay over night couldn't eat anything the nurses were tending to him he said "you know you can go home" she said "to an empty house" he said "you could go see your daughter" she said "I don't know" he said "you said when you went to see her before she was fine she will want to see you" she said "I thought you need me" he said "I'm fine for now tomorrow is when I'll need you, plus I know you hate hospitals" she said "I hate being in them I hate having to stay in them and I hate seeing people I care about in them" he said "I should be fine" she said "okay, I'll be back first thing in the morning" he said "I'll be here the surgery is at ten sleep in you need to rest" she said "yeah I have some things I need to check on as well"

She made a atop at her new place of business in which she hadn't told anyone about she was starting up a book store more of a magic shop and type half magic shop and coffee shop she hadn't haired anyone yet she just was stoking and getting the seem done she had went to a book store in Japan and a magic shop there as well she loved the color skims and she died to work with it in the store she has it decided well she has to get the catalogs in and then she had to decide what she was going to do she was going to start interviewing Employees in one week and then she also need a came for the place best place to ask for help was from Angel when he was well enough she left and head to Willows

She got there and knocked on the door Kennedy Answered she said "can I come in" Kennedy said "come in" she did crossing her arms Willow was sitting with Emma cutting up her dinner she walked up and said "be sure to out it some all she likes it that way" Emma look up "MOMMY" Buffy smiled "hey there sweetie" Emma stood up in the chair to hug her she did and Buffy said "what have I told you about standing on peoples furniture" she got down Buffy took her hand and they went and sat down she said "am I going home yet" Buffy ran a had through her dirty blond hair "not yet sweetie… your being good for Willow and Kennedy right" she nodded Emma said "when can I go home with you" Buffy said "at the most a week but probably not that long but when you can I'll pick you up from school" she said "okay" Willow said coming up to them "how's Angel" Buffy said "I dropped him off at the hospital he told me to go but I can tell he's tense… he's scared" Emma said "Angel scared… like when I have a nightmare" Buffy said "no quite… he's sick and he has to go to the hospital and he afraid about what the doctors are going to do to make him better because it's dangerous but it could make him better" Emma said "can we go tell him it will okay" Buffy said "tell you what you can see him after" Emma said "okay" Willow said " if you want you can stay over night" Buffy said "I don't want to intrude" Willow said "it's okay" Kennedy said "you really want to go back to that house by yourself" Buffy said "I guess I could stay in that case" Willow said "then we can go to the hospital together in the morning" Buffy said "okay" she got out her cell phone and forwarded all her home phone calls to her cell phone. And had dinner with them

The next morning at about 5 she got a call on her cell she was on the couch her daughter has curled up with her she picked the phone off the table and said "hello" the doctor said "Miss summer, it's the doctor" Buffy moved Emma and sat up and said "what's wrong" he said "lat night he had an attack" Buffy's own heart skipped "is he okay" the doctor said "he's stable it wasn't that bad we should still be able to perform the surgery but we want to move it up to about 7" Buffy looked at her watch and saw it was 5:45 she rubbed her eyes and said "fine" she hung up and called Doyle's cell he picked up and he got up to as well it was a mad rush that morning she wrote a not to the others and prepared to leave Emma started to wake up she said "mommy where you going" Buffy said "I have to go I'll call you later… go back to sleep" she got her back to sleep and she left locking the bottom lock

She was at the hospital in 15 minutes and she went in talked to the nurse got mad and the doctor came and got her as Doyle came up he said "everything okay" the doctor said "yes we just think it best we do the surgery now" Buffy said "okay can we see him before" he said "yeah, but hurry we want to start soon"

Buffy got to the room and they were prepping him Buffy said "hey" he said "you came" Buffy said "of course they you had episode last night" Angel said "more like an anxiety attack the made my heart act up they calmed it down and I'll be fine" she said "that why they are moving the surgery up" he said "yeah I heard I was hopping they wouldn't" she said taking his hand "you know it's going to be okay right" he said "yeah" he was way scared then he was pputting on she could feel it in how tense he was and every once and a while a tremble would go through it she squeezed his hand he looked at her Doyle said "yeah it will be fine man you'll be out and fine before you know it man" Angel said "yeah" the nurse said "where ready" Angel looked at Buffy and she squeezed his hand the nurse was giving him the setitive she said to him before he went out "I'll be here when you wake up and that was the lat thing he remembered.

Angel started to come to his vison was blurred then it came in to focus and just as she promised she was right there she said "hey" he said "hey" she said "you don't need to talk you need your rest" he said "where is everyone" they called and they were here but they left they wanted to wait until you were more conscious for a longer period of time" he said "oh… I am tired" she said "yeah they put you on a bunch of pain killers to keep you pain free bad thing is they keep you woozy… you'll be in and out for a while at least until well… a few" she looked at him "…days" he was already asleep again she pulled the sheets up more and made sure the pillows were straight when to talk to the rest of them and they all left Buffy went home got a nap and got a change of clothing same back

She did that for a few days and then she was able to take him home after a week she let him in she said "how are you feeling he said "loopy from the pain killers" she said "yeah that happens, you want to stay down here or go upstairs" he said "down her would be fine until night at least she helped him onto the couch and she went to get a blanket and her was already sleep she covered him up and made dinner she had a few calls she had to make she ate lunch he sleep through it she read and woke him up for dinner feeding him and taking pills and helping him up stairs where he went right back to sleep.

The following week she went to pick up Emma she was waiting outside when Emma got out she ran to her and said "Mommy" Buffy picked her up Emma said "can I go home with you" Buffy said "yes I already picked up some of your stuff form your room the rest can stay there for when you visit but your staying with me" Emma cheered Buffy said "how about we get some ice cream to take home and then have dinner okay" she said "yeah"

Two Weeks later

Angel was doing better he was moving around on his own without the wheel chair so much Emma was Buffy's helper to she brought him lunch and she said "your looking a lot better she handed him the water as she gave him the pills he said "yeah… the medicines working to, glad I'm off the pain kills" Buffy said "you know it's going to be about six months before your back to your old self" Angel said "yeah I really don't know what that was" she said "you'll be fine" he looked at her, she said "I'm getting those old feelings again" he said "what" she said "the slayer sense" he said "don't think you ever lost it you just chose to ignore it to the point that you didn't feel it as regular or weren't as aware… what do you think it is" Buffy said "I don't know… bur I sure know I'm going to need help looking into it"

A few days later she had everyone meet her at a specific address in LA she brought Angel with her they all arrived at the time she asked they were parked and they all gathered with her Willow said "what are we doing here" Buffy said "well I've been working really already to try to get my life back on track and I missed you guys and I knew we all had a lot of fun at the old magic box and I had always had a interest in well opening a book store but I also considered you guys in that fact, so I hope you like it" she opened the door she backed Angels wheel chair in first and the rest of them filed in they walked astonished it was like being in a barns and noble but with Magic stuff as well it was small space but it was arranged correctly, Willow said "you did this" she was admiring the magic stuff. Buffy nodded Giles said "oh books" he went over to the books section" she said "and look" she reached up to the one booked that looked out of place on the shelf and pushed it and the wall opened it was a Demonology library Giles said "oh great" Buffy said to Angel he's like a kid in a candy store. Faith said "this is Great B" Buffy said "saved the best for last. She went to the beck door to the main room and then she opened it and rolled Angel in Faith an Robin followed she turned on the light Angel said "wow" Buffy said "you like" Buffy said "a Japanese style training room" Faith said "cool" Buffy had a ninja weighted training dummy. Screams weapons on the wall and it was nice space candles and all Angel said "nice" she said "yeah"

They all gathered in the front Buffy said "okay… um look you guys there's this thing… and so I'm just going to day it, you guys were right to do everything you did, I was in a bad place and I couldn't see my way out of it… but you may have done it in unorthodox way but, you couldn't help me… it was something I had to do my self, I had to pull my self out of that hell, I didn't want to think about what matter, I knew I wasn't alone but it felt like the world had closed in around me and everyone was gone and I was alone, they once said the slayer is always alone… I never want to feel that way again... then I got a reality check or um a epiphany when I got to close to looking the only thing that had mattered in my life next to my daughter… then I was okay, I had to rebuild it again also something I had to do on my own, and I did… my world came back together again, and I don't blame you for anything that happen or for what you did I was mad for while but I'm happy that you did it. I want to thank you for that, you guys did push me in the right direction even though it took some time you never gave up and I guess that all I wanted was some to care and see I was in pain then kick my ass right back into" Faith said "any time" Buffy said "really wasn't looking for a answer but, now all I'm looking for is for your forgiveness, and hopping that your still my friends, if I have to I'll earn that trust back, just asking for the chance to"

Willow said "you don't owe us" Kennedy said "seeing that your better is enough" Giles said "if your looking for my to shake my finger at you and tell you, you were wrong your not going to get it all your going to get is I for give you" Faith said "and anytime you need a good kicking I'm still here and your for given but still doesn't mean I don't want to wipe the floor with you in the training room" Buffy said "yeah right" Doyle said "I don't know you well but I know people and everyone goes through something at some time and some times you can't see straight and on the behalf of me and my wife your forgiven… mostly because she won't say it" Angel said "Cordelia owes her and apology so you don't need to for give her for Cordelia because I want to see that she does it herself and apologizes" Buffy said "thank you" they had a big hugged moment Buffy said "now the really question I know you guys don't really do anything during the days and I could really use the help in order to get this place running so… could you help me out" they all said "when do you need us" Buffy smiled "thanks and oh before I forget think something brewing I'm getting the feelings" Xander said "looks like were back in the Scooby Demon business" they started to discuss what was up

Buffy was sitting on the counter Willow said "what exactly are we looking for" Buffy said "that the bad thing about it I don't know" Faith said "things have been up in the air a bit lately but I feel something's up to" Buffy said "you can't put your finger on it" she nodded Giles said "maybe you should" Faith said "I'm on it" Robin said "I'll go with her" Buffy said "I need to go home make dinner and I'm sure Angel has more medication to take" Angel said "when don't I" Buffy said patting his shoulders "look at it this way you" she lean down looking at him " your still alive and you will be for a long time" he said "we can only hope" they all got out of there for the night.

That night Buffy woke up startled a bit Angel was still she had to get out of there she went into her closet to change and then she went and checked on her daughter and then slipped out she was wandering the cemetery when she felt it she turned and there he was she smirked she said "you again" the platinum blond vampire said "the one and only" she said "spike" he said "what not happy to see me" she said "I never know with you… so you staying you leaving" he said "shouldn't I be asking you that" Buffy said "I'm staying… been her 7 months already" he said "and that husband of yours" she said "dead ten months " he said "demon finally show him the error in his ways" she said "he dead of a heart condition in the jungle his heart couldn't take the work he had a heart attack mind fight the adenine kept him fighting and then they took him down, the corner figured it out it was like being a military wife when they have one of the other men come to the door and tell you what happened." He said "you look good" she said "you wouldn't have said that three months ago, I was a mess" he said "I know" she looked at him he said "I talk to Angel" she said "you two… talk" Spike said "don't get me wrong we still hate each others guts but… we live it and have a twisted friend ship in the likes we talk over the phone and don't come in contact with each other" Buffy said "oh that what you can hang up on each other" he said "mostly him hanging up but yeah" she laughed he said "heard he was sick" Buffy said "don't tell me you came to see him" she gave him a look and the n glared "or did you come to wait for him to croak and laugh at him" he said "why slayer I'm shocked you would think such things about me" Buffy said "sorry to burst your bubble but he's fine he had surgery a month ago and now he moving around some but hell be fine in few months" he said "and he's staying with you" she said "he told you" he said "no you look like it you got that look oh and you smell like him" Buffy said "how we haven't" he said "if your sleeping ion the same been your going to smell like him and if your kissing him your going to smell like him" she said "fine"

They talked he said he was getting a place in town he would be around she said se wanted him to so some snooping for her on the under ground find out what's up he said he would do it. They were parting and when she felt it she turned she said "you again… I didn't kill you enough the last time" Spike said "and you still owe me" Dracula said "I have o use for you spike and I don't want to fight." Buffy said "oh let me guess you want to talk" he said "you might want to listen in less you want Armageddon" she said "what's the catch… you going to bite me" he said "oh no… I'm smarter then that" Buffy said "I fight you I win you tell me" spike cleared his throat Buffy said "then you fight him and if he wins you pay him" Spike said "I so didn't say that" Buffy said "Spike loses the debt goes away" Dracula said "you really can't" he walked around her "you've lost your edge… if I fought you now you would lose and you know it she raised her hand to hit him he blinked behind her grabbing her arm said "let me go" she moved to knock his fee out from under him and then she was thrown to the ground he said "I told you can't not now, but I will tell you this" he looked her in her eye "she is a old friend or enemy and she's out for your blood" he was gone.

The next day she went in to the building after taking he daughter to school everyone was there she let them in she had Xander go copy her key and they were all going through things Willow said "you get anything" Faith said "my sweep was dry except for a few extra vampires" Buffy said "apocalyptic" Xander said "please tell me that the worlds not ending" Buffy said "it very well might be" they all moaned Angel said "how do you figure" Buffy said "guess who I ran into" they all looked at her she said "spike… but that wasn't were I got this information from, Dracula" Doyle said "the guy really exists" Angel glared at him he said "dumb question" Angel said "did he hurt you" Buffy said "no… he wanted to talk, mad a point of showing me I was in no condition to fight him, I'm not" Giles aid "that as a really responsible move" Buffy gave him a look "there's good old Giles" Angel said "so did you a get anymore in for" Buffy said "he left me with the cryptic thing a old enemy of mine is out for my blood" she looked at Angel and said "so cryptic guy know what he meant by that" Angel said "male or female" she said "he said it was a woman" Angel sat up a bit in his wheel chair and said "he and this woman are most likely working together to get your blood and if is Armageddon" they all said "Hell mouth" Buffy said "my blood to open the hell mouth. Don't I love to be the slayer" Faith said "and I feel like chop liver because they always want you everything is always about you" Buffy said "your complaining because they don't want to kill you" Faith said making a face "right, have fun with that" Angel said "why don't you go see what you can find out at the under ground clubs, Doyle" he said "I know check on missing persons" Buffy said "spikes checking and see if he can get a look at this girl"

Angel said "if you want to be in on this your best bet is to start training" Buffy said "I wanted to ask you about that she said "I've trained with Giles and your old friend, and your old friend from Japan told me that you would probably be the best one to learn from so, would you mind" he said "Buffy I can't" she said "I know you can't train with me I'm asking you to help me" he said "I can work with you and Faith, she teaches you or helps me teach you" Faith said "I'm game" Angel said "we start this afternoon" Buffy said "okay then"

That afternoon Buffy and Faith had chained for the exercise they were ready Angel sat in his wheel chair near the side of the mat he said "go ahead" Buffy said "so what are we doing" Angel said "neither one of us has seen what you can do you haven't trained in almost 8 years so I just want to see what you can do… just show me what you can do Faith I want you to fight with her like normally and just see how she reacts so it" Faith said "all right" they got in fighting stance Buffy watched her and she came at her with first hit and she ducked but she didn't see her do the leg sweep and she hit the floor. She laid there for a second shut her eyes remembering what Yoto had said Faith said "please tell me you don't give up already" Faith reached down to help her up Buffy flipped her to the ground Faith said "that so didn't count because I was off guard" Buffy said "you never let down your guard in a fight" Angel said "true" they stood getting back in to fighting stance Faith came at her and she grabbed her shoulder slipping behind her kicking her into the floor Faith said "good one" she went for her feet again Buffy jump and said "get me once shame on you… get me twice shame on me" they started to just exchange blows Angel watched them both they went on for about a half an hour angel said "STOP" they stopped Faith knocked her with a hit in the gut. Buffy said "final verdict" Angel said "you both need work… so tie chi for fifteen minutes before training… meditation fifteen minutes after training, tie chi… gets you centered and more focused, meditation does the same thing" Faith said "I don't know that stuff" Angel said "that why I'm her and I can do it with you it would probably help me get better quicker." Buffy said "oh my god, I totally for got I got a bunch of herbal stuff from Japan for you it was suppose to help you… tea's and healing potions and other things" he said "it's okay" she said "no all I have to is remember were I put it" she looked at her watch "but now I have to pick up Emma from school"

That night Angel was having dinner with them she had made him tea and Emma told them about her day they finished there dinner Emma said "can I watch cartoons" Buffy said "yes… did you do your home work" she said "yes" Buffy said "let me see it" she went and got it Buffy looked at she gave it back to her and she put it away she said "come watch TV With me" she grabbed both there hands Angel said "soon, why you go… we be in a second" she went in and turned on the TV Buffy said "she really likes having you around" Angel said "do you" she said "what kind of question is that" he said "do you" she said "yes I do, sleeping alone is over rated, especially when you shared a bed with some for over 8 years" he said "and" she said "that never felt right"

She took the plates in the kitchen and continued "it never felt as right as just being there with you" Angel got out of the wheel chair and walked into the kitchen he aid "you mean that" she said "yeah I do… and you need to go sit in your wheel chair" he said "Buffy I've been in the chair all day I can get out of it a few hours at a time or else my legs will stop working" she said "oh" he said leaning on the counter we need to figure out what were going to do next" she said "and what were you thinking that was going to be" he said "it's up to you, I'm getting better I'll probably only need your help for about another month. Do you want me to stick around here or do you want me to go home and work ourselves back into a routine, I come over a few nights you come over for a few nights, if for nothing but dinner and to talk" Buffy said "maybe we should you go home when the time comes and then we work it out form there because we start something and your still staying here it more likely I'll want more" Angel said "and it would be good to remove that temptations" she got a weird look on her face he said "what" she said "it felt like déjà vu" she shook it off he was started because he had said that o her that day she seemed to be remember he said clearing his throat "what was I saying, at least until it's safe to go for it… the doctor said about four months" Buffy said "and It's only been a month and 6 days… I think" Angel said "you've been counting" she said "NO" he said "it doesn't bother me, I don't judge you" she said "so you think we can make this work again" Angel said "yes because we have a fighting chance now, you don't have to slay all the time and I'm human so that two points for us" she said "yeah" she hugged him Emma yell "COME ON" they laughed

One month later

That morning they moved all of Angels stuff back to his house, Buffy went to pick up his dog from Doyle then came back she knocked he said "come in, it's open" she opened the door and the dog ran in sniffing out his owner found Angel sitting on the couch was licking his face Angel laughed she said "you never had him neutered did you" he said "no" she said "well looks like your buddy had a good time with Faith and Robins when they took him over there for about a week, there dogs having puppies" Angel said "did they have rotwiler" Buffy nodded "I just want to see what the hell that mix is going to look like, roctwhiler and golden retriever, weird… I was actually thinking about getting one or two for Emma" Angel said "that would be nice" Buffy said "I suggest you get him neutered soon as possible" he said "sure" the dog coved his eyes and whimpered Buffy said "he must know what were talking about then" he laughed rubbing the dogs head. She said "well I guess that it… I better um go"

Next 2 weeks

Buffy and faith trained, they exchanged blows as Angel dictated what he wanted them to do he said "Buffy keep your arms up, Faith watch her… Buffy keep eye contact, don't stop watching what she's doing, same for you Faith" they changed blows

The Buffy bot sat in the club with Dracula and they talked about there plans, and if Buffy was falling for the fist stage

Angel and Buffy went out to dinner she said "wow this is nice" Angel said "I thought that you would like it" she said "and I do" they ordered she said "your doing better with the training and all too" Angel said "yeah, the mediation helps, along with the thi chi, a lot makes me feel" Buffy said "useful… you did the thi chi a lot with me back when you were getting better the last time" he said "and still am"

Following 2 weeks

Buffy got home one afternoon and found flowered on her front door step she smiled because they were from Angel and she knew it she took them inside and put them in water.

Buffy and Angel and Faith were training, Angel was walking around them as they did the thi chi he said them what to do and they all worked together Robin even decide to join in he help them train as well Angel watched him he had a lot of skills Angel challenged him to learn the Japanese karate technique Buffy remembered some from being in a Japan they moved on to using the staff Buffy and Faith Fought together they were getting to the evenly matched point and Angel added a double threat by having robin and Faith double team her while he yelled out more commands

The Buffy bot sat in the mansion she went through the clothing she was going to need to take her place so she need to find the right clothing first, from observation she knew she has a child so she had to in something that would look motherly, but still sexy she kept on looking.

Buffy had went over to Angels for dinner they were sitting on the couch he said "did you get the dogs" she said "oh yeah and Emma loves them to death, ones rust colored and one black all over except for mouth that rust too, the vet seemed do to the breeding there not going to grow to much hair, which's a good thing, they won't shed much" Angel said "they giving up the rest" Buffy said "they had 6 we have two, Giles is getting one, Willow and Kennedy are getting on Doyle is getting on, Faith things they might keep the last one" Angel said "what have you named them" Buffy said "I named one Cinder and Emma named the other Rustasia" Angel said "what" Buffy said "don't ask, were just going to call her rusty" Buffy rolled her shoulders her shoulders hurt he said "may eye" she turned to him and let him rub her shoulders Angel said "I have some good news" she said "yeah" he said "the doctor said I'm healing better then expected and he thinks I be good to go in to weeks" Buffy said "fully healed" he said "really close but I can begin to do some more strenuous activities" she said "you going to start jogging" he said "I did a bit this afternoon" she said "how about you take the dogs out with you in the mornings" he said "how about we jog them together" she said "I could live with that" she turned and kissed him

The next morning when she she was prepared to leave for the jog she found more roses and she took them in and put them away, he had ben giving her little things over the past weeks she loved them from earrings to charms and charmed bracelets, books clothing, she loved it all.

Two more weeks went by

Angel said "the ultimate test" Buffy said "I'm ready" Faith said "I'm ready" Robin said "lets get to it" Angel said "all of us fighting… with swords" Buffy said "you two" he nodded he passed out the swords he said "be careful" they started exchanging blows and moves whirling around each other and jumping and ducking having to be aware of everyone around them at all lime never knowing who was going to go after who next they trained for an hour and cam out bumped bruised and a few minor cuts but it was fun and Angel looked good he didn't looked like he was going to pass out form exhaustion they meditated for there cool down.

Buffy had to go pick Emma up Angel went home, Emma came out of the school building she went over to her she said "mommy" she smiled "hey baby" Emma said "can we have Ice cream' Buffy said "yes we can" Emma said "yeah" they walked there getting some food and ate ice cream" Emma said "are we going to Angel's" Buffy said "I'm going to drop you off there but I have to get to work okay" she nodded.

They got to Angel she knocked Angel answered she ran too him he hugged her and said "you okay" Buffy nodded "yeah I'm fine, I just gave her ice cream she maybe a bit happier I got tome food in there for you guys, eat have fun I have to get back to work" she went over and kissed him on the cheek and left. She left putting on her sun glass and smiled that was easy as pie. She could work her way in with out a problem. Angel went and got the phone he rang Buffy's cell and said "hello" she said "oh go Angel, Emma's not here" Angel said "she's here with me" Buffy said "what you picked her up without telling me" Angel said "no, someone else did" she said "WHAT" he said "come here I'll explain" they hung up.

She got there Angel let her in and she went right to her daughter she looked her over Emma said "what's wrong mommy" Buffy said "nothing ever things just fine I was just a little worried about you" she ran her fingers there hr hair and smiled Buffy said "why don't you go play with Angels dog okay" she said "okay" she ran to go play with the dog Buffy turned to him she said "what the hell is going on" Angel said "I', not quite sure, I knew you were going to pick Emma Up, then you or someone that looked like you brought her here, they were you down to the T but if it had been you I know, know you would have used your key you only don't use your key in situations like this… I have no clue that that was but her fingers when she touched my face they didn't feel like real fingers they felt different metallic but cushioned." She said "could it have been a robot" he said "didn't looks or feel like one she was warm he skin wasn't hard or shiny like most." Buffy said "clone" he said "I don't know wee need to talk to Giles about this… now"

They did Giles said he and Wesley would look into it, Angel had Emma stay with Willow and Kennedy he had reservations for them, she said "I don't even think that I could eat" he said "try for me" they sat and talked about other things tried to cheer her up they talked they went back to the house, he said "would you mind just relaxing for me please" she said "yes, but as I recall you could relax me with ease before, you lost your edge" he said "I'm getting it back I'm up to the challenge" she kissed him they had desert and they went a step further they were kissing on the couch she said "you know you have been doing a lot today maybe you shouldn't over exert yourself" he said "why do you let me worry about that" he kissed her passionately it wasn't long before for they took it upstairs, Angel put the dog out shutting the door the dog laid on the floor and whimpered at the sounds coming from the other side of the door.

The next morning Buffy woke you alone she turned over looking at the pillow and it was rose peddled a white velvet ring box with a long stem red rose she took the rose and smelled it and smiled she looked at the box she Angel came in with the tray he had on his black silk pajamas shirt unbuttoned she said "what is this" he said "I see you have my gift" he placed the tray on her lap he got in the bed she said "what is this" he said "open it" she did she was shocked she it was a gold claddagh ring with a large heart shaped diamond in it. She looked at him he took the box she said "are you…" he said "what I'm asking you is I know what you been through and I know you wouldn't want to be put through such a important decision now so I asking when your ready to think about that again we'll became officially engaged… but until then" he took the ring out of the box and put it on her right hand "it's a promise, that when the time is right this ring will go on your wedding ring finger, do you except that" she looked at her hand she looked at him and smiled "yeah" she pulled him into a kiss and they ate got ready to go.

Buffy gets in and she was late everyone was there Buffy said "Willow" she said "I took Emma to school helped her with her homework she's alright" they all gathered around the work table Buffy said "okay what do we know" Giles said "there as a been a bit more vampire activity" Doyle said "I saw her talking to Dracula… they seem to get the same table every night" Buffy said "you can tap it put a small mic underneath and try to get more info" Giles aid "if she is a robot she might be able to detect the frequency" Angel said "you want to risk it" Buffy said "I think I do" Faith said "let's say she is a robot who made her" Buffy said "they said she was a old friend, Enemy" Willow said "she can't be" Buffy said "what" Willow said "the bot" Angel said "what robot" Buffy said "your not talking about spikes bot" Angel said "Spike made a bot" Willow said "no Warren made the bot" Buffy said "Spike was totally obsessing over me couldn't have me so he made a bot" Faith said "you mean that sex bot he made to look like you" Buffy said "thank you faith… Angel need to know all about that" Angel said "can I kill him" Buffy said "oh leave him alone bedsides Riley kicked his but for it once already, it's old it's over" she looked at the others "wasn't that bot destroyed beyond repair" Willow said "if the right person got a hold it, it could be pared just need a new body and the head could be put on a new body, with the right material it could be made like a clone with synthetic skin and inter liquids hell they could use some parts like when Walsh made the zombie robots it had blood going though it but now it the more suffocated stuff it could be made… better" Buffy said "but who and why for what reason" Angel said "it replace you, maybe kidnap you and take you away and she take your place foil the plans enough to create Armageddon" as if on cue the light flickered they looked they looked outside the animals were barking screeching Buffy said "find a door way now, everyone get down… Willow can you prevent a bit of damage to my books" Willow said "why" just then the ground started to shake Willow raided her hand and resided something soting everything from falling and crashing it was frozen they waited for thing to stabilize Buffy said "looks like we have an apocalypse coming."

She went to pick up Emma and she signed her out every parent was in a up roared because there kid was at school the schools were shutting down she picked up Emma and she asked "what's going on" Buffy said "a big bad earthquake… it will be okay honey" she headed for the car and they drove home Emma said noticing her hand "the ring is pretty" Buffy said "thank you Angel gave it to me" she said "you going to marry him" Buffy said "what makes you think that" Emma said "you like him… and he likes you" Buffy said "would it bother you if we did get married" Emma said "no because he's nice and you really like him, he makes you laugh more then daddy did… it would be nice, and then he would stay with us and we would be happy and I could be flower girl and be pretty" Buffy was listening to her ramble Buffy said "and it doesn't bother you" Emma said "no"

That night they went over to Angels for dinner and they were in the kitchen Buffy laughed Angel said "what" she said "I was talking to Emma and she asked me if we were getting marred" Angel said "she saw the ring" Buffy nodded "but she mention it and she said she was happy to see me happy and I seem happen with you then I was wither father" Angel said "kids are intuitive they can sense things" he leaned on the counter "but it up to you" Buffy picked up the phone she said "you mind if I make a long distance call on your phone" Angel said "no" she dialed her aunt and said when she picked up "Aunt Arlene… it's Buffy… yeah I'm fine, things are good I know I haven't called in a while… I'm doing better, Emma's fine… that what I'm calling about, things are a bit up in the air here in LA so could you take Emma for a while… I know she has school but I'm going to make arrangements for her to get the work sent to her for a while… I would really appreciate it, oh okay thank you so much… you're a life saver… I will, maybe when I come to get her I'll bring a friend for you to meet… that would be great… I'll se him in a week bye" Angel said "and" Buffy said "Emma is going to be staying with them until this blows over, my cousin is coming to pick her up" he said "okay… that will leave us with lots of time alone" she said "I'm counting on it" she kissed him then they here giggling they looked and found Emma was standing in the kitchen door why smiling Angel said "what are you laughing at" she said "nothing" he said "oh yeah" he let go of Buffy grabbed her and picked her up carrying her under his arm just acting foolish Buffy laughed she saw how happy they were together

One week later

They had her all packed up Emma said "do I have to go" Buffy said "yes, but think of it this way you get to play with your cousins and have fun with your aunts and listen to your uncles scary stories and have fun, and you don't have to be in school" Emma said "but I have to do the work" Buff said "but you'll have friends to help you it will be fun" Emma said "okay" Angel said "Buffy think you cousins here" they went down with her stuff Buffy said "and I'll call you everyday and it will be great" Emma said "your not sending me away again" Buffy stooped down "no way, it's just mommy thinks that you would be safer with them…" she nodded Buffy said "hey look at me, I love you to death and I want you safe mommy just needs to" Angel stooped next to her and said "you mother and I love you very much and your mommy was really sad before but she better this is about sending you away, this is about keeping you safe something me and your mother both want, and we'll call and write and Email you and your going to have fun it will be nice, but were not sending you away" Buffy said "that the last thing were doing, it just something we have to do" she hugged them

Freddy come up and knock, Angel let him in he said "hey, I'm Freddy" Angel said "Liam O'Conner everyone calls m Angel… old friend of Buffy's I live down the street" they walked in Buffy was sitting on the couch with Emma Freddy said "there's my favorite cousin in the world" Buffy smiled "Freddy" she hugged him and he spun her around she was laughing Emma laughed Buffy got her balance and said "you met Angel" he said "neighbor" Buffy said "yeah, and were seeing each other" Freddy said "your moving on that good for you" Emma said "mommy might marry him" Buffy and Angels eyes bugged out Buffy said "not now but maybe" they talked had lunch and Freddy left with Emma that night leaving them alone for he night.

The next day they were at work going through the tapes Doyle had gotten, Buffy said "the earth quakes haven't subsided each one is a bit more heavy" Doyle said "where did you get the equipment anyway" Buffy said "widow to a Military Special ops commanded the stuff was in my basement" he said "looks like you were right there setting up for some type of thing and she might be your old friend" Buffy said "but who made her and why is she after me, because to take my place why. Robots are programmed some one had to program her they don't just have mind of there own" Xander said "did you see I Robot" Buffy rolled her eyes and said "We are talking about the real world here not a movie" Xander said "could be the same concept the guy made rot of you and then he might not have been able to control it and then it created it's own mind or a mind of it's own, and it came up with it's own vendetta the create might have only made it to make a scientific reach through as the first most realistic robot and it had plans of its own" Buffy said "like revenge, but why me" Xander said "because you are it's nemeses and it has memories of you not liking it so it wants to kill you" Buffy said "not bad enough I have demons now I got robots ever ten seconds, should it be allow against it" Doyle said "but it looks like your girls after human destruction" Buffy said "new work of all robots" Doyle said "no just destruction of the human race and you're the best way to get" Buffy said "destroy me ends the world, boy I love my life… but what don't these thing get they can't kill me, it never works" Willow said "it's a computer it can find out research what it's predictors did wrong and improve or fix it" Giles said "could be the most deadly thing to come to being" Buffy said "okay bad really bad" .

Two weeks later

Faith and Buffy out they were thrown to he ground got up staking two Buffy turned staking one behind her and threw one with the same effect as a bowling ball into the group around faith and it knocked them down and they took them out one got away Buffy threw her stake catching it in the back and it was gone Faith said going for a hi five "you haven't lost your touch…" Buffy said "thanks" she said adding "I mean you still fight like a girl" Buffy glared at her and she smirked "and you're a bit rusty but your good… really you are" Buffy said "yeah yeah yeah"

The next morning Buffy was going in everyone was there she noticed something odd about the door on the end" Buffy said "anyone see the owner to the magic shop on the end of the block come in" Giles and "I was the first here and no" Buffy said "something's not right" they got up to go check it out. Angel said "you think she didn't come in" Buffy said "I doubt it she is usually here before me" they went to the door Buffy looked thorough Willow said "the place is dark maybe there not here" Buffy said "something's not right" she tried the door and it opened too easy Buffy went in Willow walked down the steps Buffy walked ahead of her Doyle faltered in his step when he went behind the counter he looked down and said "I think we found the owner" they looked over the counter Angel said "throat was ripped out" he took his coat pocket and covered his moth and nose Buffy went to stoop over it and she said "I wonder what they were after" Angel said "Giles why don't you look through the card catalogue" Buffy said "me and the owner got the same books and merchandise so I might be able to fine out what they were looking for in my books. Buffy took the catalogue Angel followed her and they went to look it up. Giles came in Buffy said "it's a archaic text that has to be translated" Buffy went into the back looking on the shelf's she found the matching copy she handed it to Giles she said "thing I wonder is why in the hell is this type of book doing in a store like that in the first place" Giles aid "a dealer could have passed it on through she ended up with it" Buffy said "can you translate it" he said "I don't really know what I'm looking for" Angel said "what about the codex maybe it will have mention as to what it was and then using the details that we know so far try to fins out what it in tales you Willow and Wesley could work on the translation" Buffy said "get on it"

Buffy got back to Angel she said "that pore woman" she flopped on the couch Angel said "what's wrong" she said "I don't know I just" he said "you thought it was over" she said "yeah, my life has been so… normal lately I don't know if I want to get back in this stuff" he said "is it that or is it you think your not strong enough to make it through another big battle" Buffy said "I don't know… I was a fool to think it was over" Angel said "Its never over it's just slowed down for a while, evil will always be oath there you can only calm it for a while it will come back and it will keep coming you do what you can while you can, when your gone it will still come back we can't change that we can only try to make it better for children and friends… you're a slayer it's in your blood you felt this coming you knew that so you wouldn't have been able to stand by and watch" she said "okay, what do we do now though" he took he hand and said "a girl once told me it tough and it's every day but we'll do it together" she smiled and kissed him.

Three weeks later

Buffy Robin Faith and Angel went to the bar in town, they were hanging out because they were waiting for something to happen and we're winding down just talking, Faith said "you feeling okay" Buffy said "not the greatest it's like the flu bug I just can't shake it" Faith said "it's probably nothing" Buffy sipped her seltzer water "yeah" Faith said "or your pregnant" her and Angel nearly choked Robin patted Angel on the back while Faith hit Buffy. Buffy looked at Angel Faith said "I mean you and Angel haven't spent a night apart sense the week before Emma left and you can't tell me ya'll been at each others house every night doing nothing" Buffy said "we've been talking" Faith said "yeah I know that kind of talk, pillow talk is the nicest talk ever" Buffy said "Faith your sick" Faith said "but am I right… I'm going to the bathroom" Robin said "I'll get a table" Angel wasn't sitting right next to Buffy and the fact they weren't speaking no one knew they were together

two mean came up next to her she said "hello what do you want" they reached grabbed her arms and said "your coming with us"

Buffy said "no sweet talk no flirting you'll never get a woman that way" they grabbed her tighter she said "really guys you thing that going to work, I man really no one I have ever fought got away with that" she hopped up they thought she was following to flip but she stomped her heals on there feet Angel granted then by the back of there heads and smashed them together they fell Buffy and Angel went to the table as Faith joined them

Angel said "we have to get out of here" Faith said "what about everyone else" Buffy said "robin get them out faith come with us" they headed for the door it was blocked Buffy was in front she said "hey there guys" faith disarmed then knocking them to the ground and Angel and Buffy took a be line right straight through the middle.

they ran into the alley on the other side that was clear Angel said "go up" he revealed the fire escape and pilled it down they started up do to they fact that everyone was in the other side of the alley

they were free and clear they started up as they got up Angel followed the man came around stared shooting it hit Angel in the leg he kept going he said "GO GO GO" they got up there he said "it's just graze mark I'm fine, go go" Faith was held up Buffy said "what about Faith" Angel said "she can make it"

they went roof to roof to roof gun where shooting Angel slipped pulling her they fell were about to run they were corner one guy with the gun and the car Buffy looked at Angel it was a better chance with the guy with the gun then it was with the car they played off like they were really going to surrender going towards the guy with the gun Buffy grabbed it really quick and used his hand to pull the trigger and shoot the guys in the car.

the car lost control was still heading in there way they jumped on the hood and went with the car right out of the alley the car stopped in the middle of the road and they rolled off it running into robin they head the gun shout

he said "come on"

they went into the closet place and they found a restaurant full of people and three injured

woman said "he going to be alright"

Buffy said "yeah" one looked at her seeing all the glass and blood

and said "what about you"

Buffy said "were fine" Angel honed in on the guy with a messed up arm and hand

he said "got shot in the hand" Angel said "let me see" he worked on the mans hand while she and robin looked at his leg. After that they stood in the middle of the floor Robin said "we have to find Faith" Buffy said "they don't want her they really want me"

Robin said "how you figure"

Buffy said "about time to start trying to get me out of the way but they weren't counting on me being with anyone"

Angel said "so they wanted to take us out"

Buffy said "killed for people with one gun" Buffy knew they had to get the hell out of there she said "it' probably not safe out there" Angel said "you have never seen La during the gang wars it's brutal" Buffy said "speaking over those were normal vampires if they were vampires at all" they headed out "Robin said then what were they" Faith voice ran down the street she held one head "cybogs"

Buffy said "oh joy"

Robin said "to Giles"

Buffy said "who else"

They all got fixed up at the magic boock shop Giles said "oh dear" Buffy said "come on Giles what is we know you want to say it" he said "it's the end of the world" they all said "AGAIN!!" Angel said "you found out what the prophecy means" Giles aid "no exactly but I know that it mean end of the world in badgering" Buffy said "I assume you can trains late" Giles said "the end of the world" Buffy said "first time back on the job and the cosmoses throw me right into the fry" Angel said "have you gotten any closer to a translation" Wesley said "words but not that many I don't know it that well" Giles said "me neither" Doyle said "but Cordelia might" Angel said "but will she be willing to help us" Doyle said "if it save her children she'll help alright.

Two weeks

Buffy not feeling any better they were out patrolling and got attacked Buffy slammed the demons head on the tombstone and Faith asked the vampire. Faith said "vamps and demons don't work together" Buffy said "only for the right price they will" they we're fight were gathering but it was getting a bit much and Buffy was looking her stability, she just didn't feel right. Then they were getting a sited and the area was getting closed down high volts were itting the demons and putting them on there knees Faith and Buffy got down then they saw the hood men in army fatigues going around taking them up and out they stood Faith helped her the mean man came down he said "Buffy" she looked at him he took off his mask and she said "Gram" he said "long time no see" Faith said "these your guys" he said "yeah" Buffy said "what are you doing here" he said "a large amount of demon activity here so we came down to deal with it" Buffy said "right, you better not be here checking up" he said "no why would I do that, you were only my best friend and partners wife" Buffy said "Don't" he said "were here to help" Buffy said "fine help other wise don't got there with me Gram"

Buffy said "we need to find out about what this prophecy says" they were all gathered at Buffy's house, Cordelia came in With Doyle she said "someone say they need my help" Buffy said "we don't want it we just need it… if we didn't we sure as hell would call you" Buffy nibbled on the crackers to settled her stomach Cordelia deal said "you know what" Angel said "stop it the both of you, this is bigger then your petite little argument" Buffy said "I'm sorry my child being taken out of my custody was not petty" he said "I'm sorry, but this is bigger then you both so squash it and get back to the point" Cordelia sat and said "and that is" Willow said "you know how to read abigerarian" Cordelia said "yeah I guess" Faith said "With our demon vampire problem" Buffy said "which don't just happen normally" Willow said "it could be our scientist"

Gram has hid mean gathered in the local research center he said "We need to find the scientist and what he has to do with the over load of demons" he said "this is a capture we decide to kill after"

Giles said "oh oh I think I found something" Cordelia took the book and she read it "the ground will shake the sky will crack of flash, that which has long sense been destroyed will live again being blame to the blame less and to drain the blood of the best of slaying"

Gram said "I need that location need to know where it is and what it up to where this is headed and what is happening" one said "then shouldn't you ask the solders widow" gram said "I will I gave a lot to ask her in fact

Cordelia said "I'm so glad I'm not you" Buffy said "well that makes sense as to why they tried to kill me a few weeks ago" Angel said "I don't think they were trying to kill you if they were trying to kill you they could have just done that they didn't have to get up close to do that they wanted to take you and they didn't want anyone to know" Buffy said "so they could put the bot in my place" Angel nodded. Cordelia said "what bot" Willow said "long story" there was knock on the door and Buffy went to get it she came back she said "look who came to join the party" Spike said "hello all" they all gritted there teeth saying "Spike" Buffy said sitting next to Angel "what do you have" he said "been looking up and down for your boys it was a local croup of vampires" Buffy said "those were no vampires" Faith aid "those were kybosh" he said "I know they were working with the vampires that" Angel said "work for Dracula" Buffy said "that work with the bot" Spike said "What bot" Angel said "that Buffy sex bot, some body made another one out of the old parts" Spike said "I thought that couldn't be done" Angel was ten seconds off him Buffy said "sit down, if I can keep my hands off of Cordelia you can keep your hands off o spike" he said "fine" Spike said "what idiot would want to put her back together" Buffy said "oh she's not the same, she has a mind of her own" Angel said "she acts just like me down to the T" Angel said "she kissed my check her skin felt real" Buffy said "she's a clone and she wants me out of the way to take over and her purpose is to get ride of me and everyone else in one swipe" Spike said "opening the hell mouth" Buffy said "you got it"

Gram said "we go fight check out the area we find out there reason the center of there roaming area is what is protected and that will be where we find our scientist"

Xander said "there needs to be an exact way, sacrifice, thing that lead up to it" Faith said all this crap ain't enough" Cordelia said "were you listening when I said the point was" Willow said "but it has to be like three sacrifices and three talisman or ritual representations" Buffy said "what if the shooting at the cub was the point to kill those people to use them or there bones as the sacrifice, or something like that" Giles said "what ever been happen had to be leaving up to it" Buffy said "let go back and I'm talking way back remember in collage when we had the apocalypse, they need bloods of a ban bones of a child and a talisemen, then a sacrifice of three" Buffy said "now let say, they sacrificed three humans as a sacrifices" Angel said "let say your right what would be the talisman" Giles said "to open the hell mouth it always blood" Buffy said "blood of the slaying" Faith said "slayer… you" Angel said "what is a the conduit or the thing that will open it the key" Willow said "I might have seen that" Spike said "some times they use crosses I know that what I used to try to kill Angel" Buffy said "what about cross blades" Buffy said "which can be buried" Angel said "or located in the local museum" Buffy said "what" Angel said "There what's a new shipment as the museum of old Victorian weapons" Cordelia said "those of which could possibly be a sword or a cross dagger" Buffy said "he's not going to get if we get it first" Faith said "how" Cordelia said "let me" Faith said "let me go with I have experience stealing stuff" Buffy said "go tonight" Spike said "I'll tag along" Buffy said "keep them safe and make sure to stay out of her way"

Three weeks later

5 days until battle

Gram came by she was in her robe she said "what are you doing here" h said "I know you were looking for the scientist" Buffy said "oh yeah what you've go something for me" he said "been tracking it over the past wheels it been all over the city but along the map it makes a circle and at it center point I think that is were you will find the lab and mostly it will be under ground" Buffy said "good give me the map" he handed her the role she said "great" he said "what are you doing" she said "what are you talking about" she knew she just wanted to play dumb in hopes he would take the hint and leave it the hell alone. He said "you know what I'm talking about" she said "yeah I was hopping you would take a hint" jet gave her a look and said "you were married" Angel came down stairs he said "and you do this he hasn't be gone a year" she said "screw you, my life is mine I live it how I chose I'm not your wife I was hides he was your friend and he never loved me he had ever opportunity to leave me he didn't he preferred to die with me then without me, so I chose to live now should I be punished for that, I was I punished my self for months I nearly lost one of the most important people in my life my friends everything I almost lost my daughter, yeah I been through hell this what I have now this is for me, this is my chose and this is what I want and let me tell you this I'm happier now then lever was with your friend… you want to help you help, but don't you dare go there with me you help and you get the hell out of my city… you got me" he nodded and was out the door "or I will kick your ass. As I once promise… now get the hell out of my house and don't contact me unless you have some good news, thank you" he was gone.

That night they were gathered at the house Buffy said "what the plan" Willow said "well the map shows a locations in the rich community in the middle of the city" Angel said "the mansions" Willow said "yep" Buffy said "well Dracula did always like swanky" Angel said "and I'm betting she got him in." Buffy said "if it over the lab I'm sure of it… hoping he didn't take my advice and go electric or it going to be hell to get in that place" Angel said "no with the right help, I knew willow can hack into the system and probably them turned off. Willow said "I'm glad you have so much faith in me" Angel said "Doyle and I can handle everything else with taking down the lab" Buffy said "we got to get in it first and I'm willing to bet robot girls the only one with the key… besides her scientist boss" Angel said "I've seen you and a lot of people get though worse" Buffy said "only question is can we do it again." They prepped to go.

The bot was showering the town in her Buffy clothing her walked passing people then she bumped into a man she backed up he said "Buffy" she stared at him "yes" he said "I'm doing what you asked, don't start with me… I'm looking for the bot" her ears perked up she said "you didn't find anything did you" he said "I thought you wanted me to" she said "I do, but you have to be careful she's dangerous, she looks exactly like me, right down to the T mannerisms gestures, be worry of her if you see her I want you to capture her, she's trying to take my place… and we can not let that happen" he said "then how do I know that that wasn't the robot I saw this morning at your house" she said "my house, I spent the night over.. a friends fell sleep on the couch, when I got home the house was empty" Gram said "you looked awful cozy with that guy" she went into her memory "I just lost my husband it way to soon for me to be involved with some guy" he said "that what I thought" she said "oh god she's already moving in, we have to get to her" he said "how will I know the difference" she said "you'll know… I have to go find her and save the other who knows what she might do" she ran off she got around the corner and smiled "this she be interesting"

They got to the compound Buffy said "this should be interesting" they went up to the compound much like the castle but built out of more normal things modern more mansion like then castle like Willow had tapped into the system and in order to endure a really long turn off she had to cut of the entire grid they had everything they need to see in the dark any way

Buffy said "you ready will"

she said "as I'll ever be"

she pressed sky and every light went out ten blocks back and forward and five blocks left and right they headed out they were shielded by the cover of darkness the headed in getting the door unlocked bypassing the manual wires they got in and started to wander the house Buffy made Faith and Robin go one way Spike and Kennedy another Doyle and Willow, Cordelia she and Angel went direct for the basement they went down and found the wall panned it opened and it had a key pad and a thumb printer Willow got down there and und screwed the thing from the wall and cut the wise sending a charge to open the door they head in the elevator.

Buffy said "god this is way too familiar"

Faith said "like the initiative labs"

they went down using the pips and bungee cords they for to the door using electro cords to bust it open.

Using gas make set off gas bombs in the mane hallway heading straight toward the min lab as the guard try to find them through the smoke which couldn't be done they got into the labs shutting the door and Willow hacked into the computer while the others went through the files Angel and spike stood at the doors they took out the first two guards he tossed two guns toward Buffy they took out the next set of guards willow worked and then came the scientist

Buffy said "nice to see you too… now tell me why I should kill you right now"

he said "because I know how to stop her"

she said "you would sense you made her"

he said "she's a machine she can be stopped"

Buffy said "and your just going to tell me that"

he said "no" Angel put the gun to the back of his head Buffy said "now what do you think"

Buffy's voice cam back "would you like to know what I think"

she kicked he gun out of Angel And he dined even see it she grabbed him and pushed him out the door Spike slipped out going after him the smoke bomb in the hall he snapped his neck the others headed out Buffy distracted her

she said "so this is the peace machinery waling around with my face"

she said "soon I'll be the only one" she circled her Buffy still had the guns

she said "I wonder what bullets will to you she jumped as the fisted wised though the air kicking them both out of her hand "no what could I do with these"

Buffy said "only wimps fight with weapons"

the bot said "is it that or is that you know you would never win against a bullet"

Buffy said "maybe" she kicked on out of her hand catching it

"maybe not"

she said "now we both had guns now do you think that you can shout me before I shoot you knowing that I'm a computer and know the point at which to hit you" Buffy shot at it again and it moved going to kick her again she ducked under it going at her feet she went to shoot her Buffy ran out Angel was ahead of her he pulled the first detonator and the wall implode behind them should have trapped her they ran going towards the elevator

Angel said "we need a out and up is not the options" they met up with the other going over the scientist body Willow it a back chamber they went towards the back through a chamber opened panel came up with a latter they wee being followed by other guards

Buffy said "how are there so many guards" she hit the next button setting off the explosive by that exit they went up the latter got out and then reached Willow who blew up the whole thing that through the back and to the ground

Buffy said "boy I have really missed this part of my job… NOT"

3 days until battle

the nest morning the boot was out of the there she was a bit banged up but she knew just how to repair her self what was need to be done do to her infused memory she shut down for the night and got everything straightened out she came out of the bathroom changing from her shower and then head into the living room made something to eat and then headed into the closet she smiled "high there Giles, I wonder how long it's going to take them to figure out your missing"

the next morning they had all prepared to go to Giles and give him hat they had Buffy went to work first everyone was there but Giles wasn't Buffy said "maybe we she go over there" they headed out they were on there way there when they got there something didn't feel right she knocked and got nothing she knocked again and then Olivia answered Buffy said "Olivia where's is Giles" Olivia said "I thought he was staying all night researching at the office" Buffy said "he wasn't there" Angel said "I'll have Doyle look out for him" Buffy said "if he's missing and no one has seen him seen him I think I might know just who has him" Olivia said "who"

they all went inside and explained to her just what was going on they all sat going through Giles private collection of books Olivia said "well aren't you going to go find him" Buffy said "yeah but first we need to find you what were dealing with does he have any research here not books journals that he was working on recently" Olivia said "I wouldn't know… when he comes in late I'm usually asleep and anything he has he usually takes with him to the shops office" Buffy said "she's smart you guys with out him we don't know his research and without is research we're walking blind into battle witch is no good for us" Willow said "what do we do" Angel said "Wesley might have something" Buffy said "were going to need it because we have to fid out about this battle and the clock is ticking we only have two days"

2 days until battle

They had been at Giles sense yesterday Buffy get little sleep and she wasn't feeling all that well she said "you got anything" Willow sat cross legged on the floor she said "I have never seen this kind of encryption before" Buffy said "you think you can hack it" Willow said "I'm trying the last time I ha to break an encryption… it broke itself" Buffy said "so you don't know… could it be magically encrypted" Willow said "would explain why I hadn't seen it before… I'll try something" she went over to Angel who was going through the books she said "anything" he said "not yet" she was getting antsy and they needed to get to Giles there was no telling what tat thing was doing to him.

She paced tapping the knife in her hand and Giles sat tied to a chair Looking half conscious she said "Giles it's me… Buffy, you know you can talk to me" he said " would never talk to you… your nothing but a sick sadistic Killing machine and you are NOT Buffy" she said "I can be" he said "never" she said "enough small talk what did they take from the labs" he said "not telling you" struck him across the face ten smiled "I guess it doesn't really matter" she went over and picked up the binder off the desk turning to him she said "I got your notes… and how do they plan to stop what's coming without those… huh… they can't do anything about it, looks like this time the bad guys might win after all" she smiled and laughed.

It was almost midnight Willow said "I GOT IT!" they all rushed over to her she said "it was magically encrypted and I figured out all the plans locator of the battle and how to shut robot-slayer down" Buffy said "that great… that mean we can go home and get some res before tonight's Battle… Wesley said "yeah… me and Doyle will work on it… meet me at the shop by 3"

Day of final battle

They met at three they gathered supplies and were now ready to go… Buffy said we do this just like old times were going back to the hell mouth settling the area were putting up the barriers and taking out as many demons as possible" Willow said "my concern is why for what… why did they use her" Buffy said "I don't know but wee going to take her out that all that matters we go in hair and fast we take no prisoners." She grabbed her things she had been sick all morning Angel said "are you sure that you're up t this fight" Buffy said "yeah… I'm more worried about you your human now and did just come brink from the brink to death… you think you can handle a fight like this" Angel said "yeah I'm sure"

Sunnydale

They arrived back on the hell mouth there was a town that had been but up in the crater… it was almost the same building lights earning she never expected hem to build I back u but it looks like it had been they headed straight for the center of two which was now the town baseball field they split up and set up Buffy and Angel went in together the demons were chanting in the center and the demons were surround Buffy said "HEY! Someone having a party and forget to invite me it be came fist and feet of fury as the bean to fight one another kicking punching ducking a voice echo "SILENCE" they stop the crowd between that figure and Buffy parted revealing the figure holding a tied up and badly beaten Giles it took o it's hood revealing that it was the bot

Buffy said "wow… really good plan hold my mentor captive… you big hunk of junk"

she said "ouch I'm hurt" she put knife to Giles throat "not as much as it's going to hurt him"

Buffy said "as you know weapons are over rated your so big bad come on lik a real woman… warrior, fighter would… the powers not in the weapon it's in the hand"

She said "really, or are you afraid I'll kill you other wise"

Buffy said "no… but if you can kill me with a weapon… killing me with your hands should be no problem, because I mean you're strong and fast and all… and I'm just, human"

she thought a minute and said "fine" she handed the knife to her demon and said "any thing go wrong kill him" she dropped the cap and she and Buffy walked down the middle toward each other she said "this going to be to easy"

Buffy said "don't count on it… you got to touch me first" and it was on she tried o hit Buffy in the face Buffy ducked under the blow and said you call hat a hit going right for the knee cap and striking she stumbled but didn't fall she went to kick Buffy in the gut Buffy jumped at the last minute everyone fought around them.

Willow worked on the spell while they were fighting she started to chant

Buffy jumped over her head she turned going for Buffy knee cap and hit it dead center Buffy it the ground

she said "oh did that hurt"

Buffy said "not as much as this" she brought that leg up and kicked her in the face she came up licking her mouth were blood trickled but it was wasn't red it was black

Buffy said "so that it you were fused with a demon"

She said "not that you'll live to tell about it" she went at her

Willow recited the spell and the orb began to glow

Buffy fought her she kicked punched and fought, the demon bot staggered she said "what have you done to me"

Buffy said "what not feeling you all of a sudden"

She said "what did you do to me you bitch"

Buffy kicked her again to the round "me nothing"

She said "I don't believe you"

Buffy said "yeah id uses you would have trust issues sense you're so untrustworthy" Buffy hit her again

She smiled and said "KILL HIM NOW" the demon was about o make a over when he was struck I his back wit a flaming arrow

Xander said "I still got it" the demon caught on fire.

Angel was having his own problems he had thee demons on him at once he ducked the low and then he stabbed one the heart he turned in one clean move taking the head off the next and the last ran a him throwing his back into the gate that collapsed under his weight he wrapped his les around it's neck and took off it head jumping down and jumping back into the fight.

She said "what are you… you"

Buffy said "what… I thought you were so big bad" she hit her

She said "you won't get away with this"

Buffy said "I already have" then she found her self frozen she turned to find Dracula holding his hand up

he said "com to me"

Buffy fought it and said "I thought… I told… you… the threw… has… gone… out" her feet started to move towards him "…of the… relationship"

Angel yelled "BUFFY" she tried to stop it but her feet kept moving forward against her wishes

She gritted her teeth and said "I can't" she got to him

he said "turn" she did when she did she found he robot double holding a gun

she said "now let's see how slayers handle bullets"

Buffy gulped "help me" she aimed but she started to get woozy Angel jumped her just as she pulled the tiger just as the demon spirit was sucked from its body. They crashed the ground Buffy was shuck in the side she turned on the vampire and said "you know the drill" she kicked him back into the fire.

the bot was toast the demons were one Angel went to her she held her side her leg looked bad but beyond that only minor scrapes and bruise. There was a muffled cry Buffy went and tied Giles and hugged him

Angel said "you okay"

she said "fine… I will be… could you by chance take me to me hospital any way" they gathered around the bot Buffy shook her head Buffy said "Willow could you get me that torch" she grabbed it lighting it up Buffy set the bot on fire and hey watched as it burned.

Xander said "she sure won't be back any time soon"

Buffy said "we hope for never"

Giles said "you mind by chance taking me to the hospital" they started o head out

Buffy said "wait" she went back to the spot wear she had jus killed Dracula and he reformed she asked him she said "do you never learn… ever, get out of this town and don't come back" he was dust she waited a moment he started to materialized "I'm standing here… and if I se you in LA ill stake you and vacuum you up in a dust buster… don't try me" she hobbled passed everyone… they never learn

Buffy went to the hospital se was admitted for over night the next morning the doctor came o see her Angel said "she would really like to leave… she really dos to like hospital"

Buffy said "please… I have a daughter and I really should go home"

The doctor sad "great we just ran some rest on you last night because of how you wee reacting from your injuries we thought you might have had an infection because of the nausea and vomiting high fever…"

Buffy said "did I"

The doctor said "no… I was just wondering if you knew that you were pregnant"

Buffy mouth dropped open Angel said "what"

The doctor said "a little over two months and you were lucky you weren't hit in the stomach"

Buffy said "oh my god"

The doctor said "you can go and congratulation… I'll probably be seeing you in around 7 months" he smiled "bye" she looked at Angel he smiled and kissed her and for the first time in a long time things felt like they were all going right.

7 months later her son and daughter wee born and they were married her months after that she could not have asked for more and she fine felt she was living she would for ever be teaching and her and Angel had learned what life was truly about

_**The End**_


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